Page 17 of Tactically Acquired

“Well, then we can sleep easy knowing that no bad guys will actually come after us when we’re there.”

That was actually kind of a shame, but then something else occurred to me and I stopped Spencer with a hand to his chest. “Oh God. Do you think they’re all like…fat, overweight, balding men who couldn’t get jobs anywhere else?”

He sighed, nodding in agreement. “And that’s why they work in Kansas. They’re like— mall cops.”

“Only worse because not even malls would hire them. That’s so sad,” I mumbled.

“This is gonna be really bad for the studio.”

“The studio?” I said, my eyebrows climbing high. “What about us? We have our reputations to think about. Do you really want some fat dude trying to teach you how to clear a room when he can’t even make it through the door?”

He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “This is such a fucking nightmare.”

“Tell me about it. You’re right. It’s time to move on. From now on, romantic comedies only.”

“And historical romance,” he added quickly. “I would look amazing in tights.”

“Careful, or all the ladies will think you’re gay,” I smirked at him.

“Not gay, just well aware of my body and what I would look good in.”

“Right, and while you would look amazing in tights, I think the point is that we have bigger problems right now. The studio is going to make us look really bad. We need to find a way out of this.”

He nodded, his brows furrowing slightly. “Maybe we could pretend to go out there, but not really do it. We could go to Disney World instead.”

Of course, he would want to do that. “We could or…” An idea so brilliant came to mind that it was almost too good to believe. “What if we couldn’t make it out there?”

“That’s what I just said,” he frowned.

“Right, but what if we couldn’t make it out there because we were ‘kidnapped’?”

He stared at me like I was an idiot. “You want to fake kidnap yourself?”

“What? We have enough experience with it. We could hire someone to fake kidnap us from our entourage and take us on vacation somewhere. Then we would escape from this horrible nightmare of an excuse for a security company and get to actually enjoy some time off. We could go anywhere we wanted!”

“Audrey—”

I gave him a pouty look, hoping he would give in. He knew how much I needed this. Hell, we hadn’t had a vacation in so long. “Just think of all that sun and sand. The ocean water and the warm breeze on our skin. It’ll be amazing.”

For the first time in a long time, Spencer actually looked a little excited. “Do you think it would actually work?”

“I think so,” I grinned as I started planning it out in my head. “We could stage the whole thing with a ransom and everything. And think of how amazing it would be for publicity! We could get away for a week, and then when we’re ready to go back, we stage an escape and show up in the middle of Kansas or wherever the hell we’re supposed to be, proving we’re the most awesome action stars ever. The studio will love us for it, and they’ll never know a thing!”

“Do you think it could actually work?”

Spencer always doubted me, but I had an ace up my sleeve. “I just happen to know someone who is amazing at this sort of thing.”

“At kidnapping?”

I grinned at him. “It’s sort of in his wheelhouse.”

6

SLIDER

“Alright, first order of business. We have a job that just came in for a security install,” Lock said, holding up his folder.

“Ooh, I’ll take it!” Kavanaugh said, holding up his hand, wincing as the skin pulled at his neck.

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