Page 89 of Tactically Acquired

“You’re just ignoring the truth.”

Rae had a way of putting people in their place, and that just pissed me off. “I’m not ignoring anything.”

“Other than the fact that you like her.”

“Sure, I like her. That doesn’t mean I should be around her,” I argued.

She scoffed, shaking her head. “Men.”

“Excuse me?”

She stopped again and placed her elbows on the table. “You heard me. What is it with men? You can’t admit that you like a woman, so you’re avoiding her? Why can’t you just admit the truth? It’s right in front of your face.”

“She’s a client,” I snapped. “Why the hell would you even encourage this?”

“Because you only live once. And you wouldn’t be the first one to fall for a woman he was protecting.”

“And that’s the difference. I’m not falling. I don’t even know her. Yeah, my dick likes her. That’s a hell of a lot different than feeling some connection to her.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Sure. Lie to yourself.”

“Like you are?” I snapped.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at me. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” I said, keeping my voice low. “You don’t want to admit the truth, but it’s staring you in the face.”

She shook her head slowly, but the anger was building inside. I could feel the tension pulling tight like a rubber band about to snap. “You’re just talking out of your ass.”

“I’m one of the only people thinking about this logically. And if you would open your eyes and recognize the situation with Cash for what it is, then maybe you’d see the bigger picture.”

“Stop,” she croaked out.

“Stop because you don’t want to hear the truth? Or stop because you can’t handle it if your boss isn’t the perfect man you’ve made him out to be in your head.”

Her face paled as she stared at her computer. I knew I was pushing her, but she needed to hear this. We all needed to open our eyes and consider all the possibilities. None of us wanted to think that Cash could do half the shit I was entertaining in my mind, but after what he had gone through, who could blame him for taking a swan dive off the deep end?

And that right there was the kicker, the one fucking thing that really grated on my nerves. The shitshow at the end of this black and white rainbow. Nobody fucking told you what this job did to you or the potential it had to fuck with your head. Once you were out, you figured the bullshit was over. The nightmares would go away and the belief that you would never truly be able to have a stable relationship would finally ease up.

But that wasn’t the case. If anything, what happened with Cash only assured me that being in this line of work only increased the odds of never being able to have the stability that any random citizen had. I had made that choice a long time ago, and I didn’t necessarily regret it, but any dream of another life was long gone.

I shoved back from the table, needing to get some space. “You’re telling me to face the facts about what’s going on with Audrey. Maybe it’s time you thought about what kind of man Cash is now. If you can’t admit that he’s changed, then you won’t be prepared when this all comes crashing down.”

As I stormed out of the room, Thumper grabbed my arm. “That was harsh.”

“It was necessary.”

“To who?”

“You said it yourself, something else is going on. No one’s going to figure it out if we don’t look at the bigger picture. So let’s look at the bigger fucking picture.”

His jaw tightened and he nodded, releasing my arm. I headed outside for some space to clear my head. I needed to pull my shit together. This wasn’t about Audrey. Hell, my cock could think whatever it wanted, but this shit with Cash was pushing all of us to our limits. Some of us were just better at hiding it.

The door opened behind me and a familiar scent filled the night air. I clenched my jaw, not really in the mood to fight off my desire for her. I was too angry, too pissed that I had lost my shit on Rae. Yes, I knew what I said was true and she needed to hear it, but that wasn’t me. I was never cruel, and what I said in there felt unnecessarily harsh.

“So, any chance you’ll forget about my earlier attempt to escape?”

I hung my head and sighed, not in the mood to deal with any bullshit right now. “What is it you want, Audrey?”

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