Page 35 of Steamy on Set

“I know I say this every day, but you’ve got this.” He scoots closer to me and lays a hand on my shoulder. The tingle that accompanies his touch moves into my stomach.

My feet land solidly on the ground as I shoot up from the couch, freeing myself from his touch.No more of that. Making myself at home, I go to his kitchen and get myself a glass of water. He follows, not remarking on this fact, and watches me open his cupboard.

“So what is the movie really about? We’ve broken down the characters and the words, but we haven’t discussed the theme.” I look to him for the answer. Water pouring into the cup is the only sound between us, while he thinks this over.

“It’s about generational trauma, how our parents can directly affect how we navigate through this world, especially when it comes to dating.”

My mind goes right to Christian. With an emotionally abusive father and distant mother, he never knew what healthy love felt like. All he knew growing up was the toxic rhetoric that emotions aren’t for men. Did he have the chance to succeed in our relationship without causing so much hurt? I wash down the sudden urge to cry with a large sip.

“So Dante breaks up with Fiona because of his unresolved issues with his father? But when he goes to see him, he gets the closure he needs to try again with her?” I ask.

What was it that Christian needed? I thought as his friend I knew. He just needed someone to finally believe he was worth it. Worth their whole heart and effort. I thought time and gentleness would ease the tension on his shoulders and get him to finally reveal the wounds he carries in his chest. Yet every time I reached for him, he pushed me away. That’s why we had fought before he left.

“Yes. During the conversation with his father, his dad’s excuses for how he raised him trigger Dante. He starts to see the way his father’s need for control resulted in him needing to constantly feel free. That urge prevented him from being in a healthy relationship,” Errol concludes.

I take another sip, but the water builds in my mouth as my throat closes, preventing it from going down. I breathe in through my nose to try and ease the tension. When the liquid finally clears my airways, I speak.

“Well, I can see how layered this idea is in the story. It will make for an interesting romance.”

“Every romance is interesting, if you look beyond the kissing. Everyone has a past that determines how they operate in a relationship.”

I can’t help but wonder what he carries into his dating life from his past. Before I can get the nerve to ask, his lips turn the page on the conversation as they lift up.

“Are you excited for the party on Saturday?”

“I’m excited to dress up.”

I must look worried, because he steps closer.

“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine.”

I nod, unable to voice all my concerns.

Seemingly satisfied, he heads back to the couch. We go through the lines one more time before the sky dresses itself in its darkest colors. My mind never fully leaves the talk we had. So even as I drive home, I still think about all the ways we let our futures be determined by our past.

I can’t see myself having much of a future at this point, so I don’t linger on how mine may be affected. Instead, I think about Errol. Who hurt him and what caused him to be the player he is today? What would it take for him to open himself up? Has he ever? I don’t think I’ll ever get the answers to these questions, but my mind can’t help asking.

Chapter 14

MiraandIagreeto meet at her place to avoid having the fight in public. Instead, she won’t be able to escape this conversation once things get heated. I just hope it doesn’t get to that point.

She answers the door on the first knock and ushers me into her living room. Having only been here a handful of times over the last few months, I don’t recall ever really looking around. I try to keep my eyes focused on her, but the beautiful pink and gold walls keep calling to me.

“Have I ever said how nice your place is? Because it’s gorgeous.” I sit on the couch across from the armchair she sinks into, hoping to start this conversation off on a good foot.

She offers me a smile, but when she speaks, it quickly goes downhill from there.

“I want to start by saying that I put my neck out for you. I got you this job when you had no experience to back it up.”

I sit back in the seat. Is this the start of an apology or an excuse?

“Okay?” I elongate thea, my mouth caught on it.

“The way you left was completely messed up. I know you have your problems with me, but I also have every right to be pissed off.”

“So you want to start the conversation by talking about how I left the department?”

She nods and I sigh, not at all surprised that she is trying to take the focus off what she did.

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