Page 33 of Puck Sweat Love

“Okay, okay, I get it now,” Stone cuts in, his head bobbing. “But honestly, dude, I don’t know if there are any hard and fast rules about any of that. I think it depends on the person. I mean,Iwould consider you a monster if you called me without asking, but Stephanie has more inner peace than I do.”

“A monster?” I challenge, arching a brow.

“Yep,” he says. “Or a sociopath.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Fine. How about just the rudest person who ever lived? Calling without texting first is basically bad touch, dude. Every time my phone rings when I’m not expecting a call, I feel violated. So, don’t violate me. Not unless you’re in imminent danger or just saw my dog run into traffic or something.”

I shake my head, my lips hooking up on one side. “Such a drama queen.”

“Such a normal person, you mean,” he corrects. “Trust me, I’m the normal one here. But like I said, Stephanie is less normal. In a nice way. You should just ask her if it’s okay to let your calling-without-texting freak flag fly with her, how far in advance she likes to make plans, etcetera.”

“Ask her.” I chew the inside of my cheek, mulling that over. “That’s not being lazy and expecting her to do all the work? Likewhen women get mad about having to give their husbands lists of chores instead of the guys looking around, seeing what needs to be done, and just doing it?”

“No. I don’t think so, anyway.” Stone frowns before adding with a sigh, “But I could be wrong. Dating is fraught these days. Women are confusing. And angry.”

I grunt. “Can’t blame them. A lot of men suck. You should have seen the dickhead Stephanie was dating before. Two sentences out of his mouth, and I was ready to punch him.”

“Well, to be fair, you’re a punchy person,” Stone says, continuing after I concede the point with a tip of my head, “But you’re not wrong. The last girl I was with before I swore off pussy said she didn’t date at all anymore. Like…at all. She just hits it and quits it before the guy can disappoint her. She doesn’t even give men her real name or phone number. On the rare occasion she wants to hook up more than once, she has a burner phone just for dick dialing. Like she’s a drug dealer or something.”

“More like she’s in the witness protection program. With a real number, you can find out way too much about a person. She probably doesn’t want creeps knowing where she lives and works and shit.”

He makes a considering noise. “You’re probably right. I should have thought of that before I gave her shit about it. I was just teasing, but still… Maybe I would have gotten on the dick dial list if I’d thought that through a little more.”

“She told you about the dick dial list, but didn’t put you on it?”

He sighs. “Nope.”

“Sounds like maybe you forgot to take care of her health first,” I quip, unable to resist giving Stone some of his own medicine.

He tosses a piece of rice across the table that I dodge easily. “Fuck you, man. I attended to her health like it was my missionin life. I even ran out and got her coffee at five thirty in the morning because she had an early flight and was dreading getting felt up by airport security without caffeine.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” I say, once again using his words again him.

But he only pushes his lips into a pout and sags lower in his chair. “I know. I’m sweet. But it didn’t matter. Once I realized who she was…” He shakes his head. “I can’t eventhinkabout dating this woman. Even if I could convince her that not all men are scabs on the face of humanity, it would be pointless.”

I frown. “Why?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. I promised myself I wouldn’t talk about it. Or her. Honestly, I don’t even let myself think about her too much.”

“Are you sure you aren’t blowing this out of proportion?”

“I haven’t jerked off in weeks because I can’t do it without thinking about her,” he announces flatly. “Like…several weeks.”

My brows shoot up.

“Yeah.” He drags a hand down his face as he sits back in his chair. “It’s bad. And it’s only going to get worse…”

“Because…” I prompt, sensing I’m not the only one who needs a little relationship advice.

He leans back in, bracing his forearms on the table as he murmurs beneath his breath, “Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course.”

“No, seriously, man,” he says. “If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone. Not a soul. We’re both new on the team, and you know how important it is to make a good first impression.”

“Okay. I’m confused, what…” My eyes widen as I connect the dots. “Oh, shit. Does she have an ex on the team already?”

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