Page 33 of Savage Claim

Cristian cracked a smile. “Well, I’m honored to be your first, then.”

We laughed, and the tension between us eased a little, enough that it felt like I could breathe again. He might not need me to apologize, but I couldn’t have lived with the awkwardness forever. “Will you take my confession?” I asked.

A complicated expression flickered over his face, but Cristian nodded. “Of course.” His very aura seemed to change: he was Father Cristian now, or he would be when he finished Seminary. Although I had seen this side of him before, it was different now. He didn’t seem as comfortable in the role as he had been before. I wanted to ask about it, but it wasn’t my place.

We made the sign of the Cross together, and because I had never actually done this, not since confirmation anyway, Cristian walked me through it. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned,” he coached, and I repeated him. “Now, tell me what you’ve done.”

I stared at my hands while I talked. “I harmed someone whom I consider a friend out of anger and fear. I was overcome with sadness, but it’s no excuse for what I did,” I said.

“Are you sorry?”

“I am.”

Cristian put a hand over mine. “I’m sure that friend forgives you,” he said. “Is there anything else you’d like to confess?”

I thought about it for a moment, trying to put how I was feeling into words. “Have you ever felt like you were losing yourself?”

Cristian jerked, as if I’d hit him again, and then shook his head with a soft, humorless chuckle. “Yes,” he admitted. “I’m familiar with the feeling.” He looked at me with sober eyes. “Have you been feeling that way lately?”

“Ever since I came to this house,” I said. “There’s a darkness in me that I didn’t know was there before. I’m enjoying things that I never thought I would, and I’m scared that I don’t know myself as well as I thought I did.”

He was quiet for a moment, taking in my words and thinking them over. I could almost see the gears turning in his head. “Sometimes, when everything changes around us, I think we have to change along with it in order to survive,” he said finally. “You were thrown in the deep end, and you had to learn how to swim.”

That was true, but… “What if I like it?” I asked. “Is that wrong?”

Again, Cristian went quiet and still. “No,” he said with a sigh. “You’ve chosen my brother, right? You’re not going anywhere?”

I shook my head. “I love him.”

Cristian smiled so wide that a dimple formed in his cheek. “Well, that’s good to hear,” he said. “This is your life now, Isabella. It would be wrong of you to hate every second of it just because it’s not the life you thought you would have.”

His words were a soothing balm. “Thanks, Cristian.”

“For penance, you’ll do ten hail Marys,” he said, “and learn how to make eggplant parmesan from Amalia. Practice until you can make it as good as her.”

Cooking wasnotmy strong suit. “If I can do that, I’m forgiven?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

We were laughing when Lorenzo walked into the kitchen. “It sounds like you two are having fun,” he said. I could hear still that angry edge in his voice. I had been walking on tenterhooks for days because of it.

“She gave me her confession,” Cristian said.

Lorenzo’s eyes flicked to mine. “Did she? Was one of those sins lying to her fiancé?”

If Cristian was surprised at the announcement, it didn’t show on his face. “You know I can’t discuss what other people confess to me,fratellone.”

“Right,” Lorenzo said, voice tight. “How could I forget.”

“I made tea,” I interrupted, desperate for a topic change before I scratched my skin off. I had never done well with people being disappointed in me. Maybe that was how my father had been able to manipulate me for so long. “Would you like some?”

“No,” he said, barely looking my way. “Can you come to my office, Cris?”

Cristian stood up, taking the tea cup with him. “Lead the way.” As he followed Lorenzo out, he patted my shoulder. One more comfort before he left me alone with my thoughts.

CHAPTER 21

Lorenzo

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