Page 118 of Point of No Return

I can’t do this- I can’t do this.

My mind is reeling. I can’t give up the only goddamn things in my life that have ever mattered.

You have to, I urge myself, and with a sense of urgency I don’t feel, I throw the duffle over my back, wiping away the last of the tears.

Keys,I think next. I yank open all the drawers in search of them and cross toward my nightstand instead. They’re right on top, and I snatch them up just as the door opens.

Skar’s standing in the doorway, hair wild, looking out of breath as his eyes dance over me- over my things, over my attempts to wipe my tears away.

Shit.He’s not supposed to be here.

“You’re home early” is my weak attempt at hiding my mess, and I know just from the crazed look in his eye that he doesn’t buy it.

Though he’s more than a room away from me, the space is too crowded.

“I know, Charlie,” he says, panting. My heart threatens to shatter in two. “I know about your plan. I know about your parents.” Each word is another crack in my facade, another moment I can’t take back. “I know, Charlotte.”

He knows, and he’s here, and now everything is falling apart. I need to leave. I’ll do whatever it takes to get out of here. I take another step toward the sofa at the same moment he withdraws a pistol from his coat. The same pistol I managed to stash beneath the couch weeks ago.

“Are you looking for this?”

There’s no getting out of this alive. One of us is going to die. He’s never going to forgive me. I’m never going to forgive myself. “Move out of the way, Skar.”

He empties the magazine, casting the pistol aside. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I’m shaking, and it isn’t until he walks closer that I realize how much. I grip the duffle tighter, halting him. He’s less than ten feet away, and he’s looking at me like the world is tilting on the wrong side of its axis.

“I’ve tried to figure you out for months.” I shake my head, unwilling to listen. I know what he’s going to say. I can see it written clearly across his face. “Everytime I get too close, you shut down. It’s you and I- this cycle- over and over again.”

My voice is fragile like glass on the verge of shattering. “I’m going to walk out that door… and you’ll never see me again.”

He shakes his head, eyes going dark. “I expected to come home and find my wife gone.” My knees feel weak. When he takes another step closer, I’m shaking too much to step away. “Aleks is still unconscious-”

“Stop-”

“Stay,” he counters, face serious. I feel sick all over again. “Stay with me- and she’ll never hurt you again. She’ll never even get the chance.”

God, if he only knew.

If he had any idea what he was asking me to do. I push the feelings away, burying them deep enough that nothing will be able to get out.

“Your wife is missing. Dead. Whatever you want to tell the police... In a few years, you’ll meet a nice girl. Marry her. Forget-”

“Fuck that,” Skar’s voice is deadly. “Charlie, look at me.” I can’t. I won’t. He reaches into the pocket of his suit, and the edge of a blade gleams in his hand as he holds it out. Surprise is a vicious thing inside me. “Take it. It’s what you came here to do, right? So take it.”

I blink at him. My muscles are drawn tight, and I’m about ten seconds away from doing something I’ll regret.

Stay, his eyes are saying.Please stay.But I can’t.

There is no world where I can have him and my mother will let me live. Yet there is no world where I survive this either way.

He closes the distance between us. Suddenly, the duffle is on the ground, and he’s pushing the blade into my hand, holding it to his throat.

“You haveruinedme for anyone else, Charlie. And I know you feel the same. Otherwise I’d already be dead. So I’m telling you now… Take it.”

The past few months, the tension, this dance we seem to play, and now there… the truth finally out in the open: he loves me. He- more than anyone else- sees me, understands me. And he still loves me for it. It hits me like a punch to the gut, feeling rushing into me too quickly.

I think I’m crying because one of his hands caresses my face, tilting my chin up to look at him. “Want to know what I think?” he says suddenly.

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