Page 32 of Love Set Me Free

“I’ll stay in a hotel tonight to give you some space.”

Paisley waved her hand in response but didn’t turn around or slow her stride. Kydrick’s heart ached as he clenched his jaw to stop his own emotions from flooding over. He knew he hurt her, but if he couldn’t be honest now, he would only end up hurting her more later. He only prayed that she understood that he wasn’t saying no. He was simply saying not right now.

Nerves bounced around Kydrick’s body as he sat in the hotel bar sipping a rum and Coke. The drink burned, and he made a face every time he took a small drink of the concoction. He didn’t have much experience with liquor, but from what he could tell, all of it tasted terrible.

“’Sup, man?”

Kydrick turned, and he nodded as Nasir slid into the seat next to him. With a smooth confidence Kydrick felt he didn’t have, Nasir flagged down the bartender and ordered his drink. When he finished, he turned his smile on Kydrick and clapped him on the back.

“Glad you called, man. I ain’t want to crowd you. I was more than okay with leaving that to the women, but I definitely wanted to get up with you. Can’t believe you’re home. Shit’s surreal.”

Kydrick nodded. He’d called Nasir after he checked into the hotel because he wanted someone to talk to. For obvious reasons, both Janelle and Paisley were no longer an option for him to call on, and he didn’t know many other people. Nasir was the only person he felt could help him out with this particular issue.

When they were younger, they always got along fine. Nasir was older and never really hung around with Paisley and her friends, but he and Kydrick had always been cool.

“’Preciate you for coming, man.”

Nasir watched as Kydrick ran a tired hand down his face before he burst out laughing. “Aw, hell. What my sister do?”

Kydrick looked at Nasir with a scowl. “How you figure she did something?”

“Because I done seen my daddy look just like that behind her. She’s probably the most put together out of me and my siblings, but she’s also the biggest handful.”

“Nah, it ain’t even like that. Paisley ain’t do nothing to me. If anything, I’m the one hurting her,” Kydrick admitted. Guilt settled on his shoulders as he realized how much Paisley put aside to make sure he was okay. Now, here he was, unable to do the same for her. That wasn’t sitting right with him, and he wanted to talk it out with someone so he could gain some clarity on what to do.

The bartender placed Nasir’s drink in front of him, and after Nasir took a sip, he said, “Talk to me. What’s going on? Because I don’t really think you and Paisley have the means to hurt each other.”

Kydrick shook his head as he stared down at his half empty glass. He swirled it a bit and watched the brown liquid rotate in a circle, hypnotizing him as he spoke.

“I just can’t give her what she wants right now, and I don’t think she understands that.”

Nasir remained quiet for a few moments, taking a sip of his drink and allowing his thoughts to settle.

“Paisley’s waited a long time for you. Over the years, she dated casually, but I worried that she would never take anyone seriously because she was always so in love with you.”

Kydrick chuckled. “That’s just common knowledge, huh?”

Hearing Paisley say the words the other night had been everything to him. She had no idea how good it felt, and hearing it again from someone else only solidified that good feeling. He wanted to go to her and bury himself deep inside her like he had a couple of nights ago. He wanted to confess his own love in a way that made her understand that all he saw was her. Instead, he stayed planted in place and took another sip. The look in her eyes from earlier haunted him. It was him. He was making things complicated between them when they really didn’t need to be.

“Have you seen the way she looks at you? I knew since y’all was kids that there was something there. I wish I could find someone to love like that. I’m getting old, and settling down ain’t been sounding all that bad, feel me? I know for a fact Paisley has always wanted a family of her own.”

His words only made Kydrick feel worse. Paisley had waited literal decades for the pieces of their puzzle to finally align, and here he was holding them back.

“I don’t feel like I have anything to offer her. I’ve been trying to get her to understand that, but she doesn’t get it.”

“She won’t.”

Kydrick looked at Nasir. “What you mean? Why won’t she?”

“Because she’s stubborn. All she needs is you. It’s that simple for her. In her eyes, everything else will fall into place, but P ain’t ever been a man. She don’t understand the pressure we were born with. I ain’t gon’ lie; if I was just released from prison after twelve years, I wouldn’t be thinkin’ ’bout no pussy either. Any nigga with a good head on his shoulders would be trying to get his shit together, not worried about getting his dick wet. In my eyes, that speaks to your character, and I respect you that much more for it.”

Kydrick thought about what Nasir just said. He normally didn’t like talking to anyone, especially about things so personalto him, but he felt lost. He wasn’t too prideful that he couldn’t ask for help when he needed it. Nasir was family, so there was a level of comfort that allowed him to open up slightly.

“It don’t feel right disappointing her. Not after everything she’s done for me?—”

“I’m gonna have to stop you right there, bro. You’re doing the right thing. You can’t start a relationship with my sister because you feel like you owe her. Get your shit right, and then step to her. If it’s under any other circumstances, you’ll hurt her for real, and then you gon’ have to see me.”

Kydrick chuckled, but he knew Nasir was dead serious. He never played about his sisters, and if Kydrick ever actually hurt Paisley, he would gladly take that ass whupping. Hurting her, really hurting her, was never an option.

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