Page 53 of Healing Love

“We shared something down there,” Cam finally admitted. “Something special. Not going to talk about it, but I will say it gave me hope. Hope that someone like her could be happy with someone like me.”

The group said nothing, waiting for the big man to gather his thoughts.

“Watched her last night with her family. They’re tight. Tight as my family and I didn’t think anyone could be that tight. She’s good. They’ve got her covered. Just not sure I see myself fitting into her world right now.”

“But—” Bethany started, but Jack once more gave her a squeeze.

Cam continued, “She saw shit down there. God-awful shit that no one, especially a sweet nurse, should ever have to see. Down there? I was her rescuer. Now that we’re back? I might just be a reminder of what all she went through.”

Bart, feeling his friend’s pain, said, “Man, you’re taking that choice away from her just like Jack was with Bethany. You’re deciding what she’ll feel. What she’ll remember. Maybe that’s not what she wants at all.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Cam looked down at his empty plate. Standing, he looked at Bethany saying, “Appreciate the cobbler. It’s just as good as I remember.” He walked to the sliding glass door that led inside before turning once more toward his friends. “I get what you’re saying. But that will haveto come from her. I’m not about to walk her back through those memories unless she wants me to.”

With that, he left Bethany and the other Saints still on the deck.

A week later, Miriam lay in bed after a shift at the hospital. As tired as she was, she hated closing her eyes. Waking up night after night, fear clutching her heart, she would sit up quickly in bed. Each time the nightmares came, she would get up in the middle of the night and head to the kitchen, getting a glass of cold water to soothe her sweat soaked body.

She talked to the hospital counselor once but decided that she would not return.I’m a nurse. I know what the hell PTSD is and that I need help.But the realization that her experiences in Mexico were so far removed from anything the counselor could imagine had her refusing to go again.

Standing at the kitchen sink, she glanced at the clock on the stove. Two a.m.Damn.Forcing her mind from the nightmares that awoke her, she turned her thoughts to her day at work.Like that’s any better,she thought remorsefully.

Remembering the reasons behind her decision to go with the Red Cross to Mexico, she realized they still existed. The fast pace of the ER did not allow her time to bond with any of her patients. On top of that, it appeared that she had received some level of notoriety since she had last been there. The staff was pleased shewas back, but full of questions that she had no intentions of discussing with any of them.

Returning to her bedroom, she threw herself across the bed, turning off the lamp on the nightstand, trying to battle the nightmares.

Her mind rolled back to the weeks that she helped take care of Mackenna’s mother who had had a stroke. She loved that experience—working with a patient she had the opportunity to get to know.

It was not just the hospital that was getting on her nerves. After two nights of sleeping in her old room in her parents’ home, she was ready to move back into her apartment. Jobe had his coworkers at Alvarez Security come by to set up security. Rebecca had insisted on spending the night, but Miriam finally convinced her to return to the apartment she now shared with Thomas. Jobe wanted to stay…then her mother.

Earlier in the evening she almost lost her composure but maintained, knowing her family loved her. “Guys, you’ve got to let me get back to my life. I love you, but the only way I’m going to move past what happened is if I get back to what’s normal!”

They relented reluctantly and now she found herself lying in bed, the moonlight casting shadows around the room and her heart pounding as she tried to steady her breathing.I’m in my home. Safe. No one is threatening me here.

As always when her mind cast back, she thought of her time with Cam and wondered what he was doing. It was hard letting go of him, not understanding why he walked away. Rolling from one side to her back andthen over to the other side, she wondered if sleep would come.

She knew her brother saw Cam as nothing more than her rescuer…not a lover.Oh Jesus, what would he say if he knew?

Her phone vibrated on the nightstand, and she grabbed it, not looking before she answered. Rebecca, Hannah, or Jobe had taken to checking on her at night. As soon as she said, “Hello,” and heard silence on the other end, she immediately recognized her stupidity.With the media still trying to get a story, I should have never answered.With her finger over the off button, she heard a man’s voice, thick with an accent, “You left. That was not very nice of you, was it?”

Bolting upright in bed, she gasped, “Who is this?”

Only a deep chuckle was the answer before the phone call was disconnected.

Heart pounding, she stared at the phone in her shaking hands. Her mind raced trying to make sense of his words and who to call. She had programmed Cam’s cell number into her phone, remembering his parting words.In case you ever need anything.

Hitting her contacts, she saw Cam’s name.

He answered sleepily, “Yeah?”

“Cam?”

“Miriam?” Hearing the fear in her voice, he quickly asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I got a call, Cam. I got a call from someone. Someone who knew I left and…and…and they said it wasn’t nice of me to leave.”

“Fuck!” he growled instantly alert. “Where are you?”

“In bed,” she replied, eyes darting around as though the shadows in her room would come alive.

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