Page 144 of Eleanor & Grey

He shook his head and looked up toward me. “My world is better with you in it. I just need you to know that. I just can’t be what you deserve right now, but I promise to my core that I will work on becoming the man worthy enough to love you. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one I want to fall asleep beside. You’re the one I want to wake up to come morning. Now I know that it’s not fair of me to ask you to wait, but—”

“I’m here, Greyson,” I cut in. “I’m here, waiting. It’s been over fifteen years since I’ve been dreaming of you,” I joked. “What’s a little more time?”

“So is this the point where we say goodbye again?” he asked. “It feels like we’re always saying goodbye after we say hello.”

“Not goodbye, just until we meet again. Until then, can we keep in touch? With email?”

“Yes, of course. Or you can call me, or anything. I’m always here for you, Ellie, even when I can’t physically be there.”

He moved in closer and enveloped his arms around me. I fell into him the same way I always did, effortlessly. Our foreheads touched, and we took our inhales together. In that moment, our timing was right. He was there, and I was there, and we were one.

I shut my eyes and tried to tame my heartbeats. We were so close that I swore I felt his lips graze across mine.

He softly said, “I want to kiss you, but I can’t. Not now. Not yet. But I just need you to know, when I kiss you next…” his breaths danced against my skin as his words spilled into my soul, “It will be forever.”

After watching everything that unraveled with Greyson and his family, I knew I had to make a trip of my own. As Greyson worked hard to fix his unit, I felt as if it was finally time for me to fix mine.

I packed my suitcase to make a trip down to Florida to see my father. I hadn’t even told him I was coming, because if I did I was certain he’d make up excuses to not see me.

But before going to the airport, I made an important stop first.

It took me a while to find the tombstone, but when I did I took a few deep breaths before speaking. I held the bouquet of roses in my hands as I stood still.

“Hi, Nicole. I know you don’t know me, but my name is Eleanor, and I am in love with your family. Every part of them is loved by me, but I won’t be able to watch over them for a while. So, I wanted to stop by here to just ask for a little help. Can you keep looking over them? I’m worried about Karla, but I know if her mother is watching over her, then she will be okay, because that’s what mothers do—they make everything okay. So, please keep an eye on her heart, because I know it’s such an important heart to have in this world. This world needs Karla, so if you could wrap your light around her, I’d be so thankful.

“Also, thank you for keeping your conversations with Lorelai going strong. She loves you more than you’ll ever know. Lastly, if you could look after Greyson for me, that would be great. I know there are parts of him that probably thinks he needs to let go of you in order for him and I to fall together, but I don’t believe that’s true at all. You showed him a love that made him the man he is today, which is a beautiful thing to see. It’s because of you, that Greyson is strong, so please stay with him. Protect them all for me, Nicole, and I know they’ll feel your love in the wind.”

I lay the flowers down on her grave, and thanked her once more.

“Oh, and if you see my mother, can you tell her I love her?” I asked. “And no matter what, I’m still here for her always.”

As I spoke to one angel about another, a dragonfly danced right past me, and I swore the broken pieces of my soul slowly began to heal.

55

Eleanor

After I landed in Florida, I felt a giant knot form in my stomach as I picked up my rental car. It had been over a year since I’d seen my father, and I wasn’t certain what to expect. Yet when I pulled up to the house and walked up the front porch, my heart instantly broke.

“Eleanor,” Dad muttered, stunned to see me standing there. He looked wrecked, as if he hadn’t showered in days. His hair was wild, his beard not trimmed, and he’d put on a bit of weight since the last time. “Hey. What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

I glanced past him and saw his house was trashed. Junk food wrappers covered the coffee table, and there were clothes tossed all over.

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

He shifted over a bit, trying to block my view, but I already saw everything I needed. He began coughing into the palm of his hand, and I swore it sounded like he was going to lose a lung any second now.

“I’m good, I’m good. Just getting along day by day,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

His eyes looked hollow. He looked a bit pale. And sad.

He looked so sad.

But that was nothing new. My father had been sad for the past sixteen years. It was his new normal.

“Can I come in?” I asked, stepping forward.

He grimaced and blocked my entrance. “It’s a mess in here, Eleanor. Maybe we can go out and grab a bite to eat.” He was embarrassed by himself, but I didn’t care. I was his daughter, and I loved him.

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