Page 31 of Eleanor & Grey

He inched a little closer to me, and I let it happen. He tucked my hair behind my ears, and I let it happen. His smile melted every part of me, and I let it happen.

“I think about it a lot. After we hang out sometimes, I beat myself up for not just doing it. I overthink it. Like, it should’ve happened when we got ice cream, or when you first brought me here. Or on Molly’s steps.” He scrunched his face. “Probably not on Molly’s steps, but still, I think about it.”

“Me too. All the time.” I paused. “Well, not all the time, but yeah…all the time.”

He placed his hand in mine and gave it a slight squeeze.

“I just want it to be perfect, you know? Especially now that I know it’s your first kiss. That’s important. In the novels you’ve had me read, it always happens naturally,” he said softly. “I take notes when I’m reading on how the hero does it, on where it happens, on how comfortable or uncomfortable both the characters seem.”

I felt his hands trembling slightly—or was it my hands that were shaky? It was becoming hard to tell what were his feelings and what were mine.

That was okay, though.

I liked the confusion.

“I know,” I agreed. “There’s always a moment…”

“When the timing is just—”

“Right.” I finished his sentence, knowing his thoughts the same way he knew mine.

“Ellie?”

“Yes, Grey?”

“Would it be cliché of me to ask if I can kiss you?”

“Yes.” I scooted closer, so close that his lips were millimeters from mine, so close that his exhales became my inhales, so close that my mind had already decided it was going to be the best first kiss of my life. “But do it anyway.”

And then he did.

9

Eleanor

“He’s so goofy!” I exclaimed as Mom and I went grocery shopping. I wandered in front of her as she pushed the cart. “He kept trying to win me the stuffed animal, and ended up with a black eye. Even with the black eye, he seemed proud, though.”

“That’s so sweet, honey.”

“It was sweet, in a really dorky way.” I walked toward the fresh fruit, moving on my tiptoes as I thought about Greyson. Every now and then I’d start humming. “We’re supposed to go out for Mexican food next week, and I’m really excited about it.” My hands moved across the oranges.

Did Greyson like oranges?

I’d have to ask him. I wanted to know everything about Greyson East. The good, the bad, and his opinions on fruit.

“Oh, and I forgot to tell you—”

Crash.

I whipped around quickly at the loud sound which snapped me from my current dreamy state.

“Mom!” I hollered, rushing over to her side. She was lying on the floor, and her eyes were crossing before they shut. I shook her body, but she wasn’t responding. “Mom, mom! Someone help!” I shouted.

She completely blacked out, and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

An ambulance was called to the scene, and I cried harder than I’d ever cried as I sat beside her and tried to wake her up.

When she came to, she was dazed and confused. She tried to speak, but she was too shaky. I just stared at her, wide-eyed and terrified. I watched as my tears splashed her cheekbones so prominent under her thin skin. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop sobbing. I couldn’t stop shaking. I couldn’t let go of the hopelessness I felt.

---