Page 40 of Eleanor & Grey

I stared at him. His hands were clenched tightly together and he tapped his foot repeatedly on the step. The more I waited, the worse it was going to be for the both of us, so, I parted my lips and spoke so softly, hoping he actually heard me. “I can’t be your girlfriend, Grey.”

He stood up quickly and nodded. “Okay.”

“Greyson.” I leaped to my feet, feeling my heart pounding against my chest. “Wait—”

“No, it’s fine. Really, Ellie. It was stupid for me to think anything other than this. I hope the move goes okay.” And with that, he went into his house.

No real goodbyes.

No true closure.

Just a slamming door.

I wanted to die.

The whole walk home, I moved with regret, but I knew it had been the right choice to make. If it had been the wrong one, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.

I walked into the house, and Mom was lying on the couch. She sat up a little, and I hated how long it took her to get comfortable. I didn’t want her to get up because of me but she always got up.

“Hey, Ellie. How did the talk with Greyson go?”

I smiled. It was forced and fake, and she knew it. “It was fine. I’m just going to lie down for a bit.”

She narrowed her eyes and looked concerned, but I turned on my heels and darted to my bedroom. I shut my door behind me and collapsed onto my bed. My arms wrapped around my pillow, and I buried my face into it. I silenced my cries, because I didn’t want my parents to feel bad. They were already going through enough; the last thing they needed was to feel like I was broken because we were moving.

I was, though.

As I cried, a hand touched my shoulder. I looked to my right and saw Mom standing there. She was skinny, fatigued, and sick, but she was still there.

She’s still here.

She wiped my tears with one finger and sighed. “Oh, baby…”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m okay.” I tried to promise her that I was fine, wiping my eyes. “You go rest.”

She didn’t listen, though. She climbed into bed with me and wrapped her arms around me. That made me cry even more because she was in pain and hurting yet still wanted to comfort me. It blew my mind how a mother could be the strongest person in a room, even at her weakest.

We moved the third week of November, after my parents figured out all the details for me transferring to a new school. Dad booked first-class tickets to Florida, even though Mom said it wasn’t worth it. It was as if Dad felt helpless so he was doing anything he could to try to make Mom a little more comfortable.

I was able to sit next to her on the flight, and the whole time I held her hand. She fell asleep pretty easily, and I was happy about that. Every time she’d awaken, she looked for my hand, and it was still in hers.

“Still here, Mom,” I’d whisper as she went back to sleep.

I’m still here.

13

Greyson

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

DATE: November 23, 4:54 PM

SUBJECT: Timing

Ellie,

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