Page 41 of Eleanor & Grey

You’ve been gone for a week, and it feels so weird without you here.

I’m a jerk, and I handled things really badly. I’m sorry. In my head, I just thought we could at least try to make it work. I haven’t felt like this about anyone before, and I just hate that you’re gone. I didn’t know caring about someone could happen so fast, and I’m just not sure I know how to shut off the caring. My life has been lonely for a while now. I thought lonely was the default option, though being lonely was normal. Even though I’ve always been surrounded by people, it’s as if no one really knew me. And then came you.

I didn’t mean to storm off and slam my door like that. Sometimes my head just gets so clouded I’m not sure how to handle my own thoughts.

I’m really going to miss you, and I’m not used to feeling this way.

I know that’s selfish, and I know you’re going through so much worse, and I know it’s stupid for me to even be this sad about it when your life just flipped upside down, but it hurts.

Hopefully you can forgive me and we can be friends.

-Grey

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

DATE: November 24, 8:00 AM

SUBJECT: Re: Timing

Grey,

You’d have to be crazy to think I wouldn’t still want to be your friend.

-Ellie

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

DATE: December 2, 8:54 PM

SUBJECT: Father figures

My father’s such a freaking tool.

He’s hammering down on me to start interning at his company, but I just want to finish my senior year without that extra stress.

He called me a pussy for not having any drive.

I never want to be like him. I never want to be that cold.

I hate him…at least that’s what I tell myself, because that makes it easier. Truth is, I kind of still want his approval. It doesn’t make sense, right? He’s never around, and when he is he’s an asshole. He hardly knows me, and what he does know he doesn’t approve of. Still, I have this deeply rooted need to make him proud.

Being human is weird.

I’d much rather be an alien.

How are things in Florida?

-Grey

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

DATE: December 2, 9:30PM

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