Page 27 of Landon & Shay: Part Two

He had been doing so good, talking about a future—a future with me, a future for us—but I saw the heaviness in his eyes over the passing days. I saw the way he was holding so much inside and not saying a word. I saw his hurts even though he didn’t unleash them. He kept them locked up tight.

He hasn’t even cried, I thought to myself as we walked back to the car to leave.

That was the scariest part to me—the fact that Landon hadn’t shown any kind of emotion about his father’s death. He hadn’t fallen apart. He hadn’t let any feelings out, and that terrified me. If he wasn’t letting it out, he was keeping it all in.

And no good ever came from Landon and his heavy, heavy thoughts.

* * *

“I’m goingto stay at the hotel with my mom tonight,” Landon told me after we grabbed dinner together that night. He hardly ate any of his food, the same way he’d barely touched his meals on the previous days. I worried about him not eating enough, but there wasn’t much I could do. Mima had even brought a few dishes for him to dig into, but he hadn’t touched those either.

That was a clear sign that things were off. Landon passed up a meal from Mima.

His statement was so straightforward and cold.

“Oh? It’s your last night, right? You fly out early?” I asked, trying not to sound too heartbroken about it all.

“Yup.”

“Are you sure you can’t stay longer? I can take care of you. Just imagine…” I smiled, walking over to him and placing my hands on his shoulders. “Breakfast in bed, massages, cuddles whenever you need them, and even when you don’t.”

I worked my fingers into his shoulder blades, and he gave me a tired, forced smile. “I wish, but I have to get back to work. My manager is already chewing my ass out for a few last-minute changes we had to make.”

Disappointment swirled inside me, but I tried my best not to express it. He was going through a lot. He didn’t need to feel guilty about me missing him.

“Okay, that’s fine.”

He gave me another smile, this one with a dash of a little more heart. “I wish I could stay tonight, but after today, I think my mom could really use me.”

“I get it, I do. She needs you, and you need her. Go ahead.”

He pulled me in for an embrace, and I held on to him so tight. “Thank you for everything, Shay. You always go above and beyond.”

I rested my head against his chest. “How’s your heart?”

He didn’t reply, just leaned in and kissed me on my forehead. “I should really get going. Don’t worry about me, though.”

“You know I will.”

“Try not to.” He pulled back and leaned down, kissing my lips ever so gently. “I love you times two.”

“I love you times two,” I echoed, my lips lingering against his. “Hey?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let your mind wander too far from me. I’m here when you need me. Always.”

When we said our goodbyes and he climbed into his car to drive away, unease hit me as I watched him round the corner. He was gone with a dazed mind and a heavy heart, and I didn’t have a clue when he would find his way back to me. The other day, we had been talking about our future and closing the gap between us, yet now I felt as if that gap was widening once more.

It broke my heart thinking Landon was moving so far away from me, both in distance and in heart.

7

Landon

Dr. Smith didn’t puther feet up on the desk when I walked into her office that day. She didn’t toss around a stress ball or smile her goofy smile. She didn’t ask me for three good things that had happened in the past forty-eight hours, and I was thankful for that.

I didn’t have anything to give her.

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