Page 51 of Landon & Shay: Part Two

It’d been a while since I suffered from a panic attack, thanks to some good therapy sessions and the coping mechanisms I’d learned over the years. Yet after the spontaneous night of barging into Shay’s life uninvited and having her turn me away, my mind had gone into overload. I’d tried all the tools in my mental health toolbelt, but unfortunately, that wasn’t how mental health worked all the time. Sometimes, in the quiet of the night, I’d fall victim to my body giving into the panic overload.

It had happened that evening on the ride over to the event. Willow was in the SUV with me as our driver headed to the venue. She knew what was happening, too, because I always closed myself off completely. My hands gripped the sides of the seats, and I lowered my head between my thighs, trying to control my breathing.

Three good things, I’d thought to myself.

That was one of the basic teachings I’d learned from my therapist.

When I was in a full-blown panic attack, I had to force myself to name three good things that happened in the past forty-eight hours. They could be big or small, and they worked as reminders that I was going to be okay.

I woke up this morning.

Rookie ate all his dog food, something he’s been rebelling against since I gave him some human food the other night.

At least I was able to see Shay.

Three good things, three things I would’ve probably taken for granted in the past. The last thing I had definitely taken for granted.

Willow instructed the driver to take a few extra laps around the venue before dropping me off, and luckily, I’d been able to compose myself.

Willow took me around to greet a few others, and I charmed, and wowed, and played the role I’d learned to master. Empty conversations filled with no truths—it was what they wanted, so I fed them exactly that.

My eyes moved up from a producer who was going on and on about how he’d had his dick sucked by some intern a few nights ago—because that was normal cocktail conversation—and the moment they landed on the front entrance, I felt the small spark that lived inside my heart start to reignite into blasting flames.

“If you’ll excuse me, Paul,” I cut him off, taking a few steps away.

Willow was quick to accompany me. Her stare followed mine, and she tilted her head. “Well, of course that’s Greyson, but I’m not certain who the other two are. Hmm…” She tapped her fingers against her lips. “I can do some research and—”

“Shay,” I muttered, making her pause. “And her cousin Eleanor.”

“Shay,” Willow repeated. She arched an eyebrow. “You mean, like,ShayShay. Like…theShay?”

I nodded once, and that was enough information for Willow to know she was free to leave my side. I’d talked about my first love to Willow a few times throughout the years of her working for me, and she always called Shay my real-life Juliet, which was accurate. I was just never going to be her Romeo.

I noticed Shay the moment she walked into the room. She was laughing freely with Eleanor and Greyson, and when she tossed back the shots of whiskey, her whole body shivered in pleasure. That body…

Christ, that body.

She wore a silk black dress that fit her like a glove, highlighting every curve. Her ass looked amazing, as always, and the crimson color on her lips made my mind go crazy.

Without thought, I found myself floating in their direction. My fucking feet moved without my brain’s permission, and I hadn’t figured out what I was going to say to her. Did I bring up the awkward situation of me showing up to her place the other night? Did I keep it light? Did I pull her to the side to talk about our past? About me leaving and never coming back? Did she even care anymore? Christ. Too many thoughts in my head, not enough time to sort them out.

There was no guy on her arm, which made me feel that much more comfortable with my approach.

“Oh my gosh, Greyson! Those are amazing!” Shay beamed about my friend’s newest whiskeys. Her hips rocked back and forth as the smooth liquor glided down her throat.

Damn, those hips definitely didn’t lie.

“Which is your favorite?” I blurted out, like a damn fool. I kept my eyes on Shay, not even bothering to look at the other two, and her stare was locked with mine.

Eleanor leaned toward her cousin and whispered something or another. Shay was quick to shut her slightly agape mouth.

I smoothed my hands over my suit. “Eleanor, it’s good to see you again. Shay, long time no see,” I murmured.If you don’t count my stalking moment a few days ago.“You look as beautiful as I remember.” That was the truest thing I’d ever said in my life. Shay had gone from a beautiful girl to a breathtaking woman.

Her cheeks flushed with color. “Whatever, Landon. You look fine,” she said, waving her hand in a slight dismissal.

I tried to push down the urgent need to pull her in for a hug, because what the fuck? Hugging her wasn’t something that would’ve made sense. Even though my body wouldn’t have hated the idea of being pressed against hers. I missed her hugs. Instead, I stood tall. “I see you still have that fiery personality.”

“And I see you still haven’t grown into your ears,” she shot back, this time with a slight smile.

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