Page 102 of Landon & Shay: Part Two

We sat down in the waiting room, quiet as time ticked on, but everything around us felt still.

We didn’t exchange words, because there wasn’t much that could’ve been said. I was glad she sat beside me, though, because I needed someone near me. I needed the ever-so-often touch she’d delivered to my shoulder, or my knee to remind me that I wasn’t alone, even though my mind was trying to tell me a different story.

Maybe my heaviness rubbed off on Karla.

Perhaps this is my fault.

Those were some of the lies shooting through my head. Those were the demons I was certainly trying to slay. Every time the thoughts began to grow too big, I’d find Shay’s hand against my shoulder blade, and the weight of the world began to dissolve.

I tapped my foot repeatedly against the tiled floor as my mind spiraled down a long staircase of memories.

“It’s hard to be here,” I quietly confessed.

Shay tilted her head in my direction and frowned. “Because of your uncle?”

“No.” I shook my head. “Because of me.”

Her eyes narrowed with confusion as she looked my way.

A few hours later, Greyson came out and gave me a lopsided smile. He looked exhausted, as if he’d been hit with a semi-truck. “Hey, Karla is asking to see you,” he told me.

I nodded and looked back to Shay. “Are you coming, too?”

She shook her head. “No. I actually doubt she wants to see me, seeing how I’m connected to Eleanor, and that was a big issue. I don’t want to be a trigger for her.”

“Oh.” I tilted my head. “Then why are you here?”

She gave me a tight smile and I knew exactly what her answer was without her even saying it.

She was there because of me.

I think in that moment I fell in love with her all over again.

Truth was, I probably never stopped loving her to begin with.

As I headed back to see Karla, my gut tightened as I walked down the long hallways. The height of my anxiety was through the roof, but I knew I had to be strong, because that little girl needed me to be there for her. I wouldn’t show my weaknesses as I sat beside her.

The clinic had private rooms set up for each of the patients. As I passed by a few of the rooms, I saw decorations against their walls, showcasing their lives. The more decorations, the longer amount of time the individuals had been at the clinic.

I remembered during my time in an inpatient clinic, my walls were emptied at first. Then, each day that passed, I filled the walls with letters.

Letters I’d written for Shay.

I’d spent three months in the clinic, and when I got out, I took down all of my words, and hoped to one day give them to her to showcase how she’d helped me through the darkness, even though she hadn’t even known I was drowning.

By the time I was better, Shay had already moved on, and she was never able to read the words I’d created solely for her.

I stood in the doorway of Karla’s room, and stared at the blank walls, hoping she wouldn’t have to fill them up to the brim before finding her way home.

There was a twin-sized bed, a table with two chairs, and a desk. Everything looked so dull and lifeless. On that small bed sat Karla and her beautiful darkness.

It took me a long time to realize that darkness could be beautiful, too. So many beautiful things lived in the shadows, and it was our duty to be kind enough to them and to remind them that they, too, belonged.

She looked up to me and tried to muscle up a smile but failed. “Hey, Uncle Landon.”

“Hey, sport. Can I come in?”

She nodded.

---