Page 119 of If You Stayed

“I’ll do it,” she cut in. “I’ll do anything for you.”

The tears burned at the back of my eyes as the words left her mouth. “I don’t want you to feel responsible for making sure I’m okay, Ava. All I care about is you and your safety.”

“You are my safety, Mom. Besides, you said forever, right?”

I stood and walked over to her. I held a pinkie out in her direction. “Forever.”

She wrapped hers around mine. “Forever,” she echoed.

I pulled her into a hug and held her for the longest time. “I love you, Ava Melanie.”

“I love you, too, Mom. And I’m really proud of you.”

I’m really proud of you.

That was the line that made the tears fall.

31

Gabriel

I was miserable without them. There was no getting aroundthe fact that not seeing Kierra and Ava was affecting me more than I thought possible. I’d tried to focus on anything other than the fact that my world felt dark without them, but everything felt empty. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t even think.

It had been three weeks since Kierra told me to stay away. Three weeks of me worrying about her well-being. Three weeks of me thinking that Henry might’ve done something to hurt her and Ava. Three miserable weeks of me staying up all night, terrified that I may get a call that something awful had happened.

Rosie was kind enough to give me daily updates, letting me know that she’d been checking in on Kierra. She assured me that everything was okay, but I didn’t feel that way. It was almost impossible to explain, but I felt as if something terrible was happening.

I may not have had my memories with Kierra from ouryouth, but I felt her within me. I knew it didn’t make sense, but I swore over the past years my heart only beat because somewhere in my consciousness I knew hers was out there beating, too. And I currently felt her heart breaking. As she fell apart, my own chest ached. As she cried, my own eyes leaked.

It made no sense.

I made no sense.

But I knew she wasn’t okay.

No matter what she’d told Rosie.

“Have you heard from her?” Mom asked as she walked into my office. She looked at me the same way she’d been staring my way over the past few weeks—as if I were a sad, abandoned puppy dog who had no clue how to find my way home. We hadn’t spoken since I’d learned about Elijah, and I wasn’t ready to speak to her on the topic. But I was certain Bobby had informed her of what was going on with Kierra.

I shook my head, knowing she was speaking of Kierra. “No. I haven’t.”

She took a step toward me. “Son—”

“Don’t,” I urged. I couldn’t look at her. The mere idea of her still made my stomach turn. “I’m not ready for this conversation, Mom.”

“I know. I…” she started, but her voice cracked and faded away. I still didn’t look her way, because if I had, I would’ve felt bad. I would’ve saw the hurt in her eyes and felt the need to comfort her. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready to forgive. I wasn’t ready to heal. I wasn’t ready to hold a conversationwith her that would either move us forward or forever tear us apart.

“Son, please,” she begged as she rushed over to my side. “I just want to make this right. Tell me what I can do to make this right.”

I rose my head to meet her stare. Tears fell down her face, and my stubborn heart still broke when I witnessed her sadness. My mother was my world…even though she robbed of my everything.

“Apologize,” I sternly said.

She nodded rapidly. “Yes, yes. I do apologize, Gabriel. I am so sorry for—”

“No,” I cut in. “Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Kierra for how you’ve treated her. For how much heaviness you placed against her. When you do that, when you speak with her, I’ll be ready to speak with you.”

She took a few steps backward and closed her eyes. The tears kept falling, and she nodded slowly. Her brown eyes that matched mine opened and she wiped those tears away, only for fresh ones to keep flowing. She lowered her head and walked toward the door. Before she left, she turned toward me one more time and said, “I love you, Son. I just truly want you to know that. Everything choice I’ve ever made was because of that love.”

---