Page 22 of If You Stayed

“The idea of your friends falling into an orgasmic state is something I didn’t need to picture.”

“We’re old but still human, Gabriel. We still love a good o—”

“Mom,” I urged. “Please don’t. It makes me wonder what kind of books you’re reading in said book club.”

“The ones that always end with happy endings. No cliff-hangers at all. All pleasure, no edging.”

For fuck’s sake, did my mother just use the wordedging?

Was I somehow still sleeping and stuck in an awful nightmare?

“Okay, Mom. That’s enough.”

She leaned in toward me and whispered, “I’m talking about erotic books, Gabriel. With happily ever afters, of course. I like my smut with cuddles, if you know what I mean.”

“I need us to never have this conversation again, please.”

She laughed. “How much more work do you have? Do you want to grab an early dinner with me? I’m all done here and thought a nice dinner out might be wonderful.” She always invited me to dinner after she finished work. I always declined.

“I’m actually planning to work late,” I said, walking to sit back in my chair.

“Work, work, work.” She shook her head as she stood. “One day, Gabriel, you’ll join me for dinner. And one day, you’ll have to actually livelifeinstead of livingwork.”

“My work is my life.”

“I know.” She frowned as she walked around toward me and kissed my forehead. “That’s why I worry. Have a good night. And don’t stay here too long. There’s more outside to see than there is in here. Maybe you could get on one of those dating apps that those youngsters are talking about. Find yourself a nice girl of your own.”

“Mom.”

She tossed her hands up in defeat. “I’m just saying. Itwouldn’t hurt for me to have a daughter-in-law someday. One who doesn’t work in our office.”

I smirked. “Lesson learned. Don’t screw at work.”

“Good boy.” Mom started for the door and turned around for a moment. “Gabriel?”

“Yes?”

“You mentioned what you thought of Henry Hughes, but what did you think of his wife when you met her? Other than her seeming familiar.”

“Oh, well, I thought she was…kind.”

Mom raised her eyebrows. “Kind? That’s it? That’s all you felt?”

“Yes,” I replied. “She was kind.”

And beautiful, and charming, and funny, and clever, and smart, and yes…

Kind.

6

Kierra

Sometimes I wondered if I hated marriage as a whole, or if I’donly hated the marriage I was in.

My husband didn’t see me, even when I was standing right in front of him, begging for his attention. I didn’t beg much anymore, of course. He seemed so disconnected that it felt pointless. But we always had weekend dinners together at home. Lena didn’t cook over the weekends, so I loved to take on the task. Ava always requested her favorite meals for the weekends, and I’d spend hours cooking up a storm to make everything come together.

Henry often mentioned how he preferred Lena’s cooking over mine, but Ava thought I was the greatest chef in the world. I doubted Ava truly believed that, but she acted like she did.

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