Page 39 of If You Stayed

“It’s really okay,” Ava said, continuing her way down the assembly line. “I’m fine with it.”

I took her plate out of her hand and set it down on the buffet table. I placed mine down next. Then I placed my hands on her shoulders as I lowered myself to look her in the eyes. “Ava Hughes.”

“Yes?”

“I need you to know a thing. ‘Fat’ isn’t a bad word, but the way those boys used it was as an insult, and that shit’s not okay. And the names they called you are not okay. And them calling you ugly is not okay. Because you are none of those things. Okay? You are not a cow, you are not a pig, and you are the furthest thing from ugly.”

Her eyes watered and she nodded slightly. “Okay.”

“Now say it to me. Say, ‘My name is Ava Hughes, and I’m fucking beautiful.’”

She laughed. “I’m fourteen. I can say ‘hell,’ but not that word.”

“Right now you can. It will be our secret. Say it.”

“My name is Ava Hughes, and I’m fucking beautiful,” she whispered.

“Again. But louder.”

She giggled slightly, feeling silly, but she said it. “My name is Ava Hughes, and I am fucking beautiful!”

“Louder!” I said, tossing my hands into the air. “Louder! Like you mean it.”

She took a deep breath and covered her face for a moment before tossing her hands up like mine. “My name is AvaHughes, and I’m fucking beautiful!” she shouted.

“Hell yeah you are, queen!” Erika from accounting shouted from the drink station.

I almost wanted to start jumping up and down with excitement, seeing Ava’s confidence building from Erika cheering her on. I didn’t even have to tell her to repeat the words, because she did that on her own.

“MY NAME IS AVA HUGHES, AND I’M FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, hopping up and down, waving her hands as if she believed every single word. As she should’ve. Because it was true.

Her name was Ava Hughes, and she was fucking beautiful.

“That’s right, kid,” I said, slightly shoving her shoulder. “And if those fuckboys ever say that kind of shit to you again, kick them in their balls.”

She laughed and combed her hair away from her face. I knew she was Kierra’s stepdaughter so the two of them didn’t share DNA, but I swore they had the same smile and laugh—the same spark of light. “Can I eat my fajitas now?” She chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah. Go for it.”

We grabbed our plates and walked over to join Erika to eat our lunch.

“I guess I don’t have to do what Dad said I had to do in order to get them to stop making fun of me,” Ava said as we took a seat.

“And what’s that?”

“Lose weight. He said if I lost weight, they’d like me more.”

Well. Now I wanted to kick herfatherin his fucking balls.What kind of advice was that? Losing weight would be one thing if it was for her overall health, but to tell her to lose weight so some dumbass, closed-minded boys would like her? Parenting fail.

“But now I know I can be fat and beautiful,” she continued, taking her fajita and biting into it.

“Sure can. But also, never change yourself to fit into another person’s box. Create your own life and ignore the opinions of others. You got that?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “And when all else fails, kick them in the balls.”

Damn straight.

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