Page 43 of If You Stayed

“Love.”

She retracted the ice pack from my face, her fingers lingering against my skin with an unintentional caress, which made me wheel my chair in closer against my own will, as if she had a magnetic pull on me that I was unable to resist. The warmth of her touch ignited a longing in me that inexplicably made me want to grow closer and closer to her.

I’d be willing to endure endless black eyes just for the short-lived touches of her hand against my skin.

Her lips parted ever so slightly, yet the silence remained unbroken by words. I was at a loss for words, too. All I could do was gaze into her deep-brown eyes, lost in visions of what might’ve been if she wasn’t a married woman and what touches I could’ve given to her if she wasn’t another man’s.

Yet, she was married. She was forever beyond my reach. Still, those fleeting moments, those tender touches fueled dreams I dared not confess.

My body gravitated closer to hers, drawn by an irresistible force that alarmed me as much as it enticed me. “Kierra…” I whispered, the word tumbling abruptly from my lips as my heartbeat quickened.

“Yes?” she responded, her voice quivering with uncertainty at our closeness. Yet, she leaned in, too.She leaned in.She felt it—the pull between the two of us. Each time I saw her, the magnetic pull felt stronger, more intense. More real. At first I thought I was making it up, but she leaned in, too.

“Are you happy with him?” I ventured, knowing I shouldn’t have asked her such a question but needing to know the answer.

“Happy?” she echoed, her head tilting slightly in bewilderment, puzzled by the weight of my question. “With Henry?”

“Yes.”

She was close. So close that her breath fell against my mouth. So close that if she whispered, only my soul could hear her secrets.

Abruptly, she rose from my desk. She shot back a few feet and cleared her throat. “You should ice your eye for a few hours tonight. And take Advil. And have someone check in on you to make sure you don’t have a concussion.”

I rose to my feet and walked toward her, not ready to leave the feeling that I felt—the feeling that she felt. “Kierra—”

“Does someone live with you?” she asked. “So they can check in on you?”

“No, they don’t.”

“Well, maybe someone should stay the night with you, to make sure. Or have someone call in to check.”

“Kierra—”

“Can you not?” she asked, holding a hand up toward me. “I…” Her voice dropped and tears flooded her eyes. “Whatever you’re going to say, can you just not say it?”

“I just want to know if you’re happy.”

“I know and I can’t have you asking me that, Gabriel.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t force myself to lie to you about that, and if I told you the truth, it would be the first time I’ve said the words out loud, and I’m not ready to go there yet, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay.” She sighed and shook herself slightly. “Keep icing your eye,” she said, deflecting. The answer lay in her refusal to address my question; unhappiness was her unspoken truth. Had she been happy with Henry, affirmations of her love for him would’ve rolled off her tongue. Yet instead of declarations of love, she left me with advice for my eye.

“Keep icing,” she repeated, a firm note in her voice. Maybe to silence my questions or maybe to steady herself and come back to reality.

I nodded and placed the ice pack back on my face. The coldness of it seeped into my skin, which was a strong contrast to how her warmth felt against my soul.

As the silence stretched between us, the sudden creak of the door shattered the moment. Ava peeked into the room, unaware of the tension she diffused with her simple presence.

“Mom, are you done yelling at Gabriel? I’m pretty sure he apologized like a billion times,” she stated. Right then, reality snapped back, pulling us from the precipice of my forbidden emotions.

“Yes. I think he got the message,” Kierra said, turning to her daughter. “And I’m happy to inform you that you’ll be going to Cory and James’s house to apologize in person with me later this week.”

“What?” Ava gasped.

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