Page 9 of If You Stayed

“You sure do act like one.”

“No, I don’t!” She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms as she huffed. “What’s a dick?”

“You,” I said, only ’cuz I didn’t exactly know how to explainit to her ’cuz I didn’t exactly know what it was, either. All I knew was I didn’t want to be stuck in my tree house with her for the next forever hours and always minutes.

“Well, you’re a bigger dick!”

I leaped to my feet and marched over to her. “No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are! You’re the dickest dick that’s ever dicked!”

“You don’t even know what that means!”

“I don’t care. I just know it’s true. That’s why you dress like a toad.”

I gasped. “I don’t dress like a toad!”

She nodded her head as she stood, standing a few inches away from me. “Uh-huh. You dress like the ugliest toad out there. If you had any common sense, you’d let me dress you, because I’m the best fashion person ever, but you must just like looking ugly!”

“Well at least I don’t walk like a penguin!”

“I don’t walk like a penguin!”

“Yes, you do! The other day I saw you get out of your pool and you waddled like a freaking penguin!”

“Well, jokes on you because I love penguins!”

“Good, Penguin!”

“Don’t call me ‘Penguin’! Just because I like them doesn’t mean you can call me that.”

“I can call you whatever I want! Now get out of my tree house,Penguin!” I ordered.

“I’ll leave when I want to, Toad!”

“Shut up, why don’t you? I didn’t even want you to come into my tree house.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No,” I hissed, “I didn’t.”

She stuck out her neck and waved a finger in my face. “Then why did you invite me over in the first place?”

“Because my parents made me, you bonehead! Your mom told my mom that you were a loser and had no friends, so my mom forced me to hang out with you!”

She gasped. “I’m not a loser!”

“You are. That’s why you have no friends!”

“I don’t want friends,” she said. “I like being alone. People are annoying, like you!”

“Yeah, well, how about you go back to being alone!”

“I will!”

“Good!”

“Great!”

---