Page 65 of If You Stayed

“It was an accident, Kierra. You didn’t mean for it to happen. You’re not a monster, and you can’t hold that guilt.”

“But that’s the thing,” I said, “Iamher monster. And if I told Gabriel, even though I truly want to, I would be causing her more pain.”

Rosie sighed and pulled me into a hug. “I love you, but I hate this. I hate this so much.”

I nodded as I cried against her shoulder.

Because I hated it, too.

I hated it more than words.

15

Kierra

Thirteen Years Old

Three painful, unruly years of suffering, and I was officially free from the torture and agony of wearing braces.

Brace Face was officially retired.

“They look great, don’t they?” Mom mentioned as I stared in the bathroom mirror after we got back from the orthodontist’s office. I had a hard time realizing that it was my reflection staring back at me. My teeth were straight, white, and beautiful.

I could smile without having a whole wire contraption move up with the curve of my lips. The kids at school would no longer have the pleasure of calling me names, even though their stupid nicknames for me weren’t even creative. Getting dressed, I wouldn’t stretch out my shirts anymore, either.

Life was about to be better than it ever had been, and I couldn’t stop giggling to myself about it.

“I am so hot!” I exclaimed, striking a pose in the mirror.

Mom laughed but agreed. “You are beautiful,” she said. She kissed my forehead. “But you were always beautiful, Kierra.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re my mom so you have to say that, but look at me!” I grinned as big as possible. My cheeks rose so high that my eyes closed from how hard I was smiling.

I headed to school feeling as if I were on top of the world. The whole day, I walked around with the biggest smirk on my face ever. I wanted everyone to see that smile of mine after all they’d seen were braces.

After school, I headed to the locker room and switched into my white outfit for softball practice. I never felt more confident in my life as I headed out for practice. As our team practiced, the guys’ baseball team and the track team were outside warming up, too. There were dozens of my peers around, and I made sure to smile toward as many as I could.

That was until people started whispering and pointing in my direction. At first, I thought it was due to my bright, shiny new smile, but then I realized they weren’t smiling at me, they were laughing at me.

Rosie came darting over toward me with a frown on her lips. “Uh, Kierra?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t freak out…” she started.

Which was enough to make me want to freak out.

“What? What!”

“You got your period, and it’s leaking through your white pants.”

What?

What!

I glanced down at my pants and then looked up to seeeveryone laughing at me. My stomach knotted up from panic as their laughter grew more and more. Everyone was laughing except for Gabriel. When I looked at Gabriel, he was frowning and looked sorry for me, and that only made me angrier and more embarrassed.

I dropped my catcher’s glove and darted toward the locker room, completely humiliated by the whole thing. You could imagine my surprise when I heard Gabriel’s voice in the locker room calling out toward me.

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