Page 63 of The Rebel Seer

I have to stay calm. Calm. Don’t let him see you panic.

It’s what I tell myself over and over again as Devilshea hauls me across the palace. That’s what I’m calling him now because he’s acting like the devil, and I’m going to have to take him down.

What is my Dev going through? Are they already torturing him?

Where is my son? Where is Shy? Are they even alive?

I can’t. I can’t lose my son. I lost Lee that day in the Council House, felt him die, and even though I knew he would turn, I felt the loss. The loss of his youth and what he could have had as a human. The loss of those years between us, years I should have spent protecting my vulnerable son.

So much fucking loss.

Danny. Where is he? What is Myrddin going to do to my son? To Shy?

I’m a rolling ball of emotion, but I remember this game well. Showing him the truth buys me nothing, and I need something from him. I need him to believe I can be with him. Not today. Not tomorrow, but someday. When the king sets me on my feet, I don’t do what I want to do. I don’t attack him. I simply stand and let the tears roll down my cheeks.

“Zan…goddess, I never could stand to see you cry. It always killed me. I remember the look on your face when my mother and brother refused to allow us to marry. You looked like this.” He appears so much like my husband, the candlelight caressing his golden features, dark hair swaying against his shoulders. In true Fae fashion, the king’s hair is long and neatly kept. His hand reaches out and wipes away a tear. “Are you afraid of me?”

I’m fucking terrified of him. “I want to know if my son is alive or if your guards killed him.”

His expression softens. “You always were a good mother. I’ll give you another child.”

He is utterly mad, and I have to find a way around it. “Please, Devinshea. He is my son.”

“Lee has proven unworthy to be our heir,” he pronounces.

“I am talking about Rhys. My son. The one I gave birth to on the Earth plane.” I reach for his hand. “He is here with his goddess, Shahidi. They won’t cause any harm. Please. Let them return to the mountain and attempt to go home. He will do it. He will leave me to save Shy, and I want him to.”

Anywhere is better than here. Any time is better than this. I know I want them alive far more than I want them with me.

“You would have him leave?” A brow cocks over emerald eyes.

Honesty is the only way to go here. “I would please you and still have my son and daughter-in-law alive. Yes, I would have him leave.”

“You do not wish for him to save you?”

Oh, how I hate this role I have to play, but I did it once before. I took Louis Marini down from the inside and I did it by using his ego and his desires against him. I wipe the tears from my eyes. “Do not think because I plead for my children that I will do the same for my husband. The truth is Devinshea is weak and Daniel lost my crown. I told him Myrddin would betray us and he refused to listen to me. Because of my loving husbands I lost twelve years with my children, and I lost my place in the world. So if you intend to give it back to me, I will certainly consider it. But don’t mistake my love of power as more than my love as a mother. I do not know how I would survive losing my son. I do not think I can survive it.”

He curses under his breath and walks to the massive doors that demark his wing of the palace.

We stood here mere hours before, all of us, and now I feel so damn alone.

So stupid. How could we end up here, tricked by Myrddin again?

I feel the brush of fur against my palm and look down. The Cwn Annwn are here. All three dogs, looking up at me like they don’t understand what’s happening.

I wonder where they got the dogs from. Wonder if they’re spelled. If they’re dogs at all. Myrddin can work some crazy transmutations. The biggest one looks up at me with flaming red eyes that somehow seem to plead with me for affection.

I’m not in the mood.

Devilshea steps back into the outer room. “Well, I think it will please you to know your son got away with his goddess. I believe that asshole I sired is trying to get them to the temple where they’ll likely head to wherever the rebels go after they’re done fucking up my life.”

A bit of relief flows through me. Only a little. “But the guards will be after them? They aren’t safe?”

He reaches a hand out, brushing back a strand of my hair, and leans in. “I gave the order to allow them to make it to the temple. I will send word that if they leave quietly, I will not assign guards to follow. Will that do, my love?”

If I can trust him, it will. Not that Rhys will leave his parents behind, but this will buy him time. I sniffle and nod, going into a deep curtsey. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

He takes my hand to lift me back. His lips curl up like he knows he has me now. “You’re welcome, Zand…” He sighs. “Zoey. I was arrogant earlier and for that I apologize. You are Zoey but you are her as well. If there is one thing I’ve learned in my search for you it’s that these different versions of ourselves are all the same. Your Devinshea could have been me if not for a few factors. The same way I could be him if not for…

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