Ostara’s lips tilted up, an amused expression. “She has not had a man. You are large and intimidating.”
He smiled at the memory. “She said that to me the first time I asked her out. She told me I might be what we call a bad bet if I turned out to be the violent type.” He sobered. “I am the violent type, Ostara. I tried to use my mind to help my people, but when I could not remember her, I fell into violence. It is my nature.”
“But when you did remember her?” Ostara prompted.
“I tried to be the best husband, friend, human I could be. It’s why it fell apart. She brought out the best in me, and I had to stand up for what was right. And Tash…oh, our daughter made me want to be everything. To be beyond what any man could be.”
Tears pierced those green eyes. “Natasha is what was left undone. Her baby. She tried to protect her.”
He took her hands in his and looked into those eyes as if he could stare down into her soul and see his wife nestled there. “Natasha is beautiful. She is strong. She survived because of her mother’s love, and now she thrives with the family I found for her. They love her, Marta. She has sisters and brothers and cousins. She lives in America with a family who gives her everything she could possibly need. When I became a vampire and remembered my life, that man who saved you in the dungeon, he and his family and friends helped me find her. I got to see her one last time. I was weak because I had so recently turned, but I had a friend see into her soul and plant a truth there. She knows we loved her. Deep in her soul, we are still with her. Still giving her strength. Put that fear and guilt aside. If you can never love me, I will be satisfied knowing I gave you this comfort. Our daughter lives and loves and is happy, and somewhere in her soul, she remembers us. We live on in her.”
If he could only give her this, he would find a way to be content.
Ostara’s eyes changed, the jewel tones pulling back to still glorious green eyes, but they were normal. Meadow’s eyes. Marta’s eyes. Her name could change. Hell, the eyes themselves could change, but the spirit behind them was always the same. Loving. Strong. Resilient.
“Tasha?” The name came from her mouth like a prayer.
“Natasha. In our lives she was Natasha Federova. She is now Natasha Taggart. She is happy. She is loved. You did so good, baby.” Tears fell from his eyes now. He was here. How many times had he wished he could be here, telling her all the things he needed to say? All the things he hadn’t because they had been so abruptly pulled out of their lives. “You did everything right. I was so…I am so sorry to leave you.”
“You didn’t.” She stepped back, and he felt the distance as she seemed to go deep inside herself. “You were taken. You didn’t mean to go. Goddess, this magic… I can see more clearly.”
“You can still feel it?”
Her eyes flashed, and he knew she was talking to the goddess inside. “He can’t keep this magic from us. This is a gift. This magic is our magic, too. They can keep the lust away but not the energy of spring, not the awakening. There are no wards strong enough to keep it out. It will be the same for your Devinshea. This magic will fuel him for days. For us, it is allowing me to see where I could not. Oleg. Sasha. You have had many names, and I loved them all. You did not mean to leave me. You never mean to leave me. Every life we cling and try to remember, promising ourselves we will not forget.”
Something settled deep inside Sasha’s soul. She knew him. He was not alone. Even if she never wished to touch him, he was not alone. “I will never forget you again.”
She moved in front of him, her head tilting up, eyes shining with tears. “You will never be lost again…Sasha. I like this name. I like this man you have become.”
“Not a man at all,” he replied. Her light was brighter now, like she’d instinctively dimmed it knowing how attracted he would be to it. “I am a vampire.”
Her lips curled up. “And I am host to a goddess.”
“You are a goddess. You are my goddess,” he whispered reverently. “I have always worshipped you.”
“Then show me. Show me how you worship me.” She let her head tilt back, giving him her throat.
It was an offer he would never refuse.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Zoey
I stare at myself in the mirror and realize I’m this man’s Barbie doll.
I mean there have been times in our lives where that was certainly true of my Fae husband. For Danny, clothes are just an obstacle to his final destination, which is me naked, but Dev likes to dress me up and show me off.
It rankles with this man.
The sidhe maid finishes tying the bow around the waist of my dress and steps back. She’s been silent most of the time, only answering my questions, and it takes me a moment to remember that she’s under a powerful spell. She cannot talk unless I speak to her directly.
She’s thin, far more than is natural, and she doesn’t glow the way I’ve found most Fae do. Not like Twilight or anything, but most sidhe I’ve met have this brightness to their features no matter their skin tone.
A bit like Shy. Huh. I never considered it before but my son’s goddess—and after the magic I felt last night she’s absolutely his goddess—has that bit of glow around her. Though she was born on the Earth plane, I now think she has Fae in her background.
“Are you all right?” I ask quietly.
The woman’s eyes widen as if shocked I would ask. “I am fine, my lady. Thank you. Is there anything else you require?”