Page 3 of A Nantucket Wedding

“After dinner. I’ve got quite a special show organized.” She wanted her daughters to have some time alone together to talk, so she said, “But first, I need to go buy a few groceries. I thought you two might like to take a long walk on the beach.”

Jane looked at her watch. “Sure, yes, if we have time.”

“We’ve got all the time in the world. David is in Boston, so it’s just the three of us, and I’ve already made an enormous salad and I thought I’d grill some salmon—”

“Oh, Mom? Um…” Felicity blushed. “Instead of salmon, could we have, maybe, steak?”

“But, Filly,” Jane said, “you’re a vegetarian!”

Felicity was bright red. “Actually, it’s Noah who’s the vegetarian. He doesn’t want me to cook beef or pork or lamb in our kitchen. And of course, he’s absolutely right, we do need to think of the animals. But sometimes…”

“I’ll go to Annye’s,” Alison suggested. “Their meat is from cattle that drink champagne while they lie there listening to thePachelbel’s Canon. They never know a thing.”

“Oh, Mom! You act as if I’m demented! And I’m not,” Felicity protested. “It’s just that—only for the time I’m here—I’d really enjoy eating some meat.”

Alison kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “Good. I’m off. You girls have a walk on the beach.” She rose, biting back a laugh. “And I’ll pick up some bacon for breakfast tomorrow.”

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After Alison left, an awkward silence fell between Jane and Felicity. Jane looked at her watch. “I suppose it’s too early for a drink.”

“It absolutely is! We’re going for that walk on the beach first. And I want to hear all about you and Scott and the glamorous life you’re leading, and you can hear all about my children.” Felicity pushed her chair away from the table and stood. She held out her hand. “Come on, Sis, let’s get our feet in the sand.”

They went, single file, down the wooden steps to the yard and along the path between the wild, fragrant beach roses. Jane had changed into flip-flops, which she kicked off and positioned next to Felicity’s Birkenstocks, and together they stepped onto the cool sand. The ocean was lazy today, rolling up to the beach with a sigh.

“What a spectacular view,” Jane said.

“Lucky Mom,” Felicity replied, immediately adding, “and David’s lucky, too, to be loved by her.”

Jane tilted her head and scrutinized her sister. “Am I crazy or do you look sad?” Immediately, she worried that she’d been intrusive. She couldn’t remember one single time when she and Felicity had talked intimately. As they grew up, Jane had called Felicity a lightweight, and Felicity had called Jane a drudge. Jane knew that underneath her disdain for Felicity’s silliness bubbled a thick layer of jealousy. Felicity was so pretty. The world was so easy for her! She didn’t make the grades Jane did, but lucky Filly, she didn’tcareabout grades. Now, after over a decade of living apart, she and Felicity hadn’t kept in touch. They saw each other at Christmas or Thanksgiving or when they got together for their mother’s birthday. Recently they’d begun to text about their mother’s wedding and this visit to Nantucket. But maybe Jane had gone too close too fast. Jane began, “I don’t mean—”

“No, it’s fine. I’d like to talk. I need to talk. I don’t think I’msad,exactly,” Felicity said. “Maybe only tired. Come on, let’s walk.” For years Felicity had considered Jane a coldhearted intellectual snob, but she had always valued Jane’s advice. Jane was so much more shrewd and judicious than Felicity.

They headed west, stepping into the cold breakers, shrieking as the waves splashed their ankles.

“It’s just hard,” Felicity admitted. “I love my children, and I want more children, and I do love Noah, but he’s always working and when heishome, he’s tense and frantic about some problem at work, and really all he does is zombie-out in front of the television. We haven’t had any time together, just the two of us, for months.” She shot a warning glance at Jane. “This doesn’t meanyoucan be critical of him.”

Jane nodded. “Understood. And if it’s any comfort, that’s a lot like Scott and I are on weeknights. Work can be exhausting.”

“Being a mother is exhausting, too!” All their lives Felicity had lived in the shade of her sister’s brilliance. Jane was alawyer. Felicity was just a mother. Felicity wanted to say,You’re too coldhearted to understand what being a mother means.She forced herself to swallow her words. She wasn’t going to ruin this weekend for her mother with arguments and insults.

Jane took a deep yoga breath. Felicity was always dramatic when she thought she’d been insulted. She’d toss her head and stride from the room, slamming the door behind her. Calm, rational Jane had always felt superior to Felicity when it involved an argument.

Jane slung a friendly arm over Felicity’s shoulders. “I’m not saying it’s not. Just being an adult can be draining. I’m on your side, Filly, don’t misinterpret everything I say. I meant that most evenings Scott and I collapse in front of the television, too, and I’ll bet we eat takeout most evenings.”

“Noah wouldn’t stand for that. He doesn’t even like delivery pizza.”

“Wow.” Jane studied her angelically beautiful baby sister, the princess of everything always, and experienced an odd sensation: she wanted to make Felicity feel better. She lowered her voice and confided, “If you want to talk about sex, let me tell you, the passion has certainly faded between Scott and me. I don’t mean we don’t love each other, but we’ve been married for seven years now, and sometimes on Sunday mornings we make love, but to tell the truth, I’d rather sleep late.”

Felicity bent to pick up an angel-wing shell. “I know.” She took a moment to inspect her find and gather her thoughts. “Idoknow. Noah and I were wild for each other when we first met—well, that’s why we had to get married so quickly. I got pregnant almost right away, before we’d even had time to get to know each other. But wewerein love.”

“Were?” Jane asked.

“Are. We still are. And I read books, Janey, I talk to friends, I know that the years when you have babies are hard on a relationship, and if you add the stress Noah’s under with his company…”

“So you still love Noah.”

“Of course! I’ll always love him. And I respect what he’s trying to do. His work is enormously important. I know that, and I support him in all the ways I can. And wedohave sex, and it’s lovely. Just not like it was when we met.”

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