Page 5 of The Summer We Started Over

Jeff didn’t seem fazed by her eccentric history. “What were you doing in New York?”

“I worked as an assistant to an editor’s assistant. Basically, I was an errand girl. But I’ve always wanted to work in publishing, so I took the job, even if it was on the lowest rung.”

He studied her face. Returning his gaze to the sea, he said, “I never wanted to live here all my life. I thought I’d move off and do something amazing. But I did move off. I lived in Boston for a few years. When I came home to see my parents now and then, I realized I prefer the island life. Now you, Eddie, your family, must have some kind of money, if you could afford to buy a house and a piece of land on Nantucket. I don’t have that kind of money. Most people who grow uphere don’t have that kind of money. I live with my parents now, but they were smart. They bought a piece of land for me out at Tom Nevers Head when I was born and I’m building a house there. Workinghard. Especially in the summer when I won’t be able to see you as often as I’d like.”

“Oh,” Eddie said lightly, “you want to see me again?”

“Yes, and not only in the bookstore.”

Eddie thought every cell of her body was actually sparkling with pleasure. “We can meet tomorrow evening.”

“I don’t think I can wait that long.” Jeff leaned toward her and softly, lightly, kissed her lips.

Her breath caught in her throat. “Wow. What was that?”

“Basically, just a sign to show you I’m a gentleman. If I acted on my instincts, I’d do a lot more.”

Eddie shivered. “If I acted onmyinstincts, I’d let you.”

—

All that summer, and into the fall, Eddie was with Jeff whenever they found time in their busy lives. They sat in the seclusion of the shadowy dunes at Madaket, watching the sun set in a showgirl explosion of color. They kayaked to Coatue to picnic and swim. They held hands while watching movies at the Dreamland. Jeff showed Eddie his apartment over his parents’ house, and they made love, and it waslove,sweet, urgent, and undeniable, like sunrise and the surge of the ocean. They talked. They spoke about his parents, his brother, Jeff’s college football team. Eddie told him about Stearns and Dove and her father.

Eddie told Barrett about him.

“I want you to meet him,” Eddie said. The sisters were doing the dishes. “But I also don’t want him to meet you.”

Barrett tied a dish towel over her head, peasant-style, bugged out her eyes, and made her two front teeth protrude like a rabbit’s. “We’re not good enough for him?” She purposefully drooled as she spoke.

Eddie laughed. “No, silly. I just don’t want him to think…that we’re serious about each other.”

“But you are serious, aren’t you?”

Eddie looked away. “It’s puppy love.”

“You are way too old to be a puppy,” Barrett remarked.

“Okay, then, it’s summer love. Island love. It won’t last. Anyway, Barrett, you know I’ll never have children. Jeff’s someone who would be a great father. Just not with me.”

Barrett touched Eddie’s shoulder. “You don’t really mean that, Eddie.”

“I do,” Eddie said. “I absolutely do.”

One night in March, when the clouds made a blueberry sky and the ocean was darker and somehow threatening, its heavy waves rearing up and crashing down, Eddie and Jeff lay on his bed after making love. Eddie was drowsy and dreamy, her body satisfied, her mind blissed out.

Jeff lay next to her, spooning her, his arm over her waist, his warm breath against her neck.

“I love you,” he said.

Eddie whispered, “I love you.”

“I want to marry you,” he said.

Eddie froze. She’d thought this might happen, but she hadn’t thought she would have to give him up so soon.

Now, while he couldn’t see her face, she said, “Jeff, I can’t marry you. And you shouldn’t marry me. I can’t have children.”

“Why not?” Jeff’s voice was calm, reassuring. “Is it…something physical?” Before she could respond, he said, “We can adopt.”

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