Page 65 of The Summer We Started Over

Eddie had to ask. “Did you ever win?”

“Are you kidding?” Jeff broke into a laugh. “I was Winnie-the-Pooh to his Godzilla. They had to send him away to high school. He was on the football team, and my parents thought he’d be an athletic coach, but Jared also made straight As in all his classes. That’s why he was accepted into the Army Rangers. It was a perfect fit for him. When he comes home, he’s nicer than he ever was when we were kids.”

“I told you that my brother died,” Eddie said, and her chest tightened as she spoke. “I didn’t tell you everything. Stearns was part ofour gang when we were kids. We were close, all of us. Barrett and me, and our next door neighbor Dove, who we loved, and Stearns. Stearns was super smart and didn’t even finish high school, but went to work for a computer company in Troy.” Her voice cracked as the grief returned full force, as heavy as when he first died, even heavier, because she had gone through so many days of life without him. “I miss him so much.”

Jeff didn’t speak. He kept his hand on her arm, being there for her, being a witness, understanding her sorrow.

Eddie wiped her face. “And Dove had his baby, but we’ve never seen him. It was all so complicated, it happened so fast.”

Jeff said, “Tell me.”

Eddie nodded. She told him about Dove, her father going to prison, Dove’s drinking, Stearns rescuing her, Stearns working at a computer company, the baby, the motorcycle accident.

Eddie gulped back her tears and tried to calm down. But the sorrow broke through. “Why hasn’t Dove ever brought the baby to see us? For us to see him? His name is Bobby.”

“Where is she?” Jeff asked.

“She’s living with her aunt and uncle in Colorado. She sends a photo at Christmas. Just a photo, and the little boy is three years old.”

“Could you call her and ask her to visit?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Eddie faced Jeff, knowing she looked ragged and wretched, and no one had ever seen her this exposed before, and if this made him leave her, then he was meant to leave her, because her sorrow and fear were part of her and always would be.

Jeff said, “I love you, Eddie.”

She pushed herself away. “No, wait. You know I read all the time, and you know I might even write a novel, or try to. I think I spend so much time in books because it’s the only way I can control my world, even for a while. I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a wife and mother. Look at my mother. She ran away. And my father hides in books, too. He ran away, too, kind of.”

Jeff said, “No. Your father moved here to give his daughters a new world. New friends, new hopes for the future. He gave up so much, a teaching position at a prestigious college, your beloved home and town and friends. He didn’t run away. He helped you both start over. Look at Barrett and Nantucket Blues.”

Eddie caught her breath, absorbing his words. “Barrett is brave,” she said.

“Yes, Barrett is brave, but she’s also clever, energetic, and sure of herself. And you went into one of the most complicated cities in theworld and worked with a world-famous writer. That took some courage, too.”

“I suppose…I never thought of it that way.”

“Eddie, I’m honored that you confided in me. I’m sorry you’ve had so much grief in your life. And I can’t promise I’ll give you a life without grief, but I’m willing to try. I want to be with you.” He paused, then added, “And you don’t have to answer now.”

—

One evening, Jeff left early. He was exhausted from working all day in the hot sun and he had to get up at five. Eddie kissed him, waved to him as he drove away, and went into the house.

Barrett was waiting for her.

“Want a beer?” she asked Eddie.

“No, thanks.” Eddie walked across the room. “I think I’ll chill with some television.”

Barrett said, as pleasantly as she could, “Well,Iwould like to talk.”

“What about?” Eddie sat cross-legged on the sofa.

“How can you be so casual about Jeff?”

Eddie looked confused. “Excuse me?”

“Eddie, be real. You know you’re going to break Jeff’s heart when you return to New York. You’ll break your own heart, too.”

“What about your heart?” Eddie countered. “Does Drew care about you? Have you met his parents?”

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