Page 12 of You've Got Male

“Not my fault. You’ve had a total of three warnings about the state of your yard. You’ve ignored each one.”

“That’s not true. I did pick all the rotten pomegranates up off the sidewalk.” Then he’d put them in a gift basket on Evie’s porch step as a little joke. The fury in her eyes told him he was the only one who found the humor in it.

“And it brought the rats that are feasting on the fermented pomegranates to my house. I can hear them in my walls, Jonah. This has become a health hazard.”

“I’ll hire an exterminator.”

“Which only works if you cut back the fruit trees in your yard or maybe, I don’t know, actually eat the fruit? Or they’ll just come back and continue to devour my grandmother’s rosegarden. Some of those roses are fifty years old and the rats are gnawing at the roots.”

Wow, he didn’t know it had gotten so bad. “I’ll fix it. I just need time. I’m sure you all understand I’ve been a little busy,” he said. “Swinging single parenthood and being my own boss keeps me on my toes.”

The brackets around Evie’s mouth became more prominent as she fought to keep her professional smile in place. “Which is why we are considering giving you a one-week extension to get your yard in order before we send in a team to relandscape your yard. And maybe get rid of those fruit trees.”

Anger like none other mixed with panic. “Anyone who touches those trees will be sued. Understood?”

The whole group went silent at his threat. But he intended to be clear. Nobody but him would ever touch his wife’s orchard.

“And seriously, one week?” How the hell was he supposed to clean up nearly two years of neglect in one week? Especially with Waverly still potty training and Ryan’s pressing school and football schedule? Not to mention his son’s grades. He needed to be on top of thingsinsidehis house. He didn’t have the extra bandwidth to deal with hedges and sod.

“That does seem a little excessive,” Mr. Karlson, Moira’s nemesis, chimed in.

Mrs. Lichfield, community dictator when it came to beautification, put on her usual scowl. “He has been given three warnings. We need to send in the landscapers, and he’s paying for it!”

“All I’m asking for is a little more time,” Jonah said.

Moira elbowed Lenard in the ribs and whisper-yelled. “You remember how hard it was when Camila was going through the terrible twos.”

Great, so the entire house heard him trying to get his kid asleep.

“Which is why we’ve been talking and we think a week is asking a lot,” Mr. Karlson said with authority.

Evie looked around the room. “Who’s been talking?”

“We all have,” Mr. Jamieson said.

“Not me,” Mrs. Lichfield said. “I say we fine the man now. Hell, let’s bring in the bulldozers and landscapers Monday morning.”

Jonah stood. “One person sets foot on my property, and I’ll weed-whack your hedges to the ground,” he said to Mrs. Lichfield, who gasped like she was a lady onDownton Abbey.

“No need for all of that,” Mr. Jamieson said and motioned for Jonah to sit, which he did. “The majority have decided to give you and your family another six weeks to bring your yard up to code.”

“Six weeks?” There was a hint of panic in Evie’s voice that piqued Jonah’s interest. It was gone as quickly as it had come. She nervously smoothed her hands down her jeans. “That doesn’t work for me. And since when do we discuss board matters outside of board meetings?”

“Seeing as Jonah didn’t have a babysitter for the evening, he took it upon himself to come and chat with us individually to explain his situation,” Mrs. Gomez said sweetly.

“You did.” It wasn’t a question. It was an accusation.

“I didn’t want any more neighbors calling you on my behalf,” he said steadily.

He could tell she wanted to argue but couldn’t because he was only repeating what she’d told him—instead she ground her teeth.

“Well, if we’re all in agreement, then why don’t we call this meeting to a close and enjoy some of the cookies. They smell delicious,” Moira said.

“If anyone has a different opinion, please feel free to voice it,” Jonah said, daring Evie to go against the majority.

She looked at Mrs. Lichfield, seeking support, but she let out asigh and said, “Six weeks, but not a day more.”

“Snickerdoodles it is,” Moira said, standing and surprising Jonah. He hadn’t spoken with either of Evie’s parents and had expected the most pushback from them.

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