Page 62 of Love to Hate You

She was sitting outside on the edge of the dock with her laptop, trying to get a rundown on the shop’s weekly numbers. She wore cutoffs and a bikini top, her bare feet dangling in the cool water. Man, could she use another of week of this kind of solitude.

She could use another week of other things too, but she wasn’t going there. Because he’d made it clear that he wasn’t going there. Ever since their almost-kiss at the chapel—and it had been an almost-kiss—she couldn’t stop thinking about Wes and how quickly he’d retreated. Or how much he’d laughed throughout the day. Sure they’d already had full-on lipsing sessions, but not in a place where I-do’s were exchanged.

Summer didn’t think Wes had much to laugh about in his life. He was too busy trying to survive or save the world. But yesterday they’d laughed until they hadn’t. Then they’d shared part of their souls with each other. Then he’d friend-zoned her. Her mortal enemy had conned her into being friends, made her believe that he wanted her as much as she now wanted him, then he’d bailed.

Not only had he gone out of his way after to make sure they were always with the group, he’d headed into the den the moment they’d arrived home, claiming he had business calls to make. Well, she had a call to make as well, which was why she’d come out to the dock with her laptop, because she needed a sounding board. And with Autumn and Randy out for a walk on the beach, she’d phoned Cleo.

“What’s challenging is accepting that my best friend didn’t invite me to her wedding.”

Summer rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t a wedding. It was the Selfie Scavenger Hunt, and you know it always ends at the chapel.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never ended it with 007 as your groom. And he was smiling.” Cleo thought for a moment, then shrugged with indifference. “I guess if I had my hands all over that cute little ass of yours, I’d be smiling too.”

Summer’s heart leapt. She hadn’t wanted to look at the photo. It would make earlier real. Make the connections they’d made real. And the way he’d recoiled real. But her curiosity won out. “He was smiling?”

“Like an idiot. I couldn’t tell if it was because he was constipated or actually happy. I barely recognized him without the resting frump face. But he looked less like a mouth-breather and more... human. And the zip tie gave off a dom vibe. I mean, a hott with two Ts.”

“The zip ties were meant to mess with me. So was pairing me up with Wes. Autumn has been nonstop Randy-fixated. I haven’t had more than a few minutes of her to myself. And when I do, we’re arguing.”

“You never argue.”

“I know. But she’s so caught up in this relationship she isn’t thinking straight.”

“So what’s new? Your sister doesn’t have a responsible bone in her body. If something is exciting and new, she’s all about it. Once it loses its shine, she’s looking for the next big thing, without any thought to the carnage in her wake,” Cleo said, and Summer’s immediate thought was to defend her twin. But she wanted to hear her friend out, because Cleo had never voiced anything negative about Autumn, and Summer wanted to know if she was missing something important that would give her insight into the person she believed she knew best in the world.

“Give me an example?”

“In the past five years she’s had seven jobs, more boyfriends than I have fingers and toes, has covered her half of the rent only on a quarterly basis. Shall I go on?” Cloe asked, even though the question was rhetorical.

Summer knew that was how other people saw Autumn, but she also knew her sister. Knew what made her tick and what made her happy and what made her scared. And losing your home at seven was scary. Even scarier was overhearing their parents talk about how close they had come to being homeless. Watching their dad and uncle load up a U-Haul with all their belongings and moving them into the apartment above the shop with Cecilia and Giuseppe, where none of the things around them were familiar, was traumatizing. It had left scars. Deep scars that never really went away.

That’s why Autumn was the way she was. It was easier to break things off before they were pulled out from under you. Whereas Summer chased connection, her twin ran from it. Which was what made Summer so nervous about the Randy situation. Autumn was making permanent decisions without taking the time to see if she was going feel cornered and run. Or maybe she was attracted to the stability of someone who would never lose their home.

Not that Autumn would ever date someone for their money. But Summer could see the appeal of having that kind of financial net to catch you when things became bleak.

“You know what our childhood was like. Tons of love, not a lot of stability.”

“But you aren’t kids anymore. Autumn is a woman, so any leniency she got when she was younger is used up,” Cleo said. “Has she paid you back?”

“No. But she promised she would.”

“Has she even brought it up?”

“Like I said, we haven’t had much time to talk with Randy butting in. But tomorrow is Twin Day, and you know how important that is.”

“Great. It’ll just be the two of you, so at some point tomorrow you can bring up her loan, because payroll is due again on Friday, and once that goes out we’re going to be stretched thin to make the mortgage.”

Summer’s palms began to sweat, and her heart began to pound painfully. “That bad?”

“It’s just a slow month. Which is why I decided to charge an entry fee to your live podcast.”

Insecurity hit her like a hammer on a nail, causing her to expel all the breath in her lungs.

“No one will come! Who would pay to see me chatter on about books and cake recipes?”

“Not true. The fee for the podcast is a purchase of the book, and they’ve been selling like crazy. It’s nearly a full house already.”

“A full house?” She gulped. “I don’t even know if Autumn will be around to help me.”

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