Page 106 of The Soldier

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Briar opened the car door for me, and I force myself from sayingI’m not crippled.Although it feels like my soul is broken and torn apart.

I know I got lucky, but I just feel numb.

Then angry.

Then my heart feels like it’s going to die from sadness at what that asshole Roger took from me.

Floating among all my thoughts are visions of Marshall. I want him here with me, but I also hate him. I needed him and he wasn’t there.

He still hasn’t replied to my messages.

How much can he care if he hasn’t bothered to ask why I was callingmultiple timesin the middle of the night?

I know I’m being a little irrational given how we parted ways, but right now I think I’m allowed to be.

Fuck him.

Fuck Roger.

Fuck the world.

I hate that I’ve been made to feel so powerless because of one stupid decision. I should have stayed in the Uber and pissed my goddamn panties. Oh that’s right, Marshall TOOK THEM.

Ugh.

Am I just some walking vagina to these men?

Well, they can all go fuck themselves now. I’m done. When I am out of here I’m googling nunneries.

Are they called nunneries?

Well, Google will tell me.

Briar and Aidan turned up after I called, and I almost screamed at her. The last thing I wanted was a man near me, but I kept my mouth closed. Instead, I sat in the backseat, wrapping my thick navy cardigan around myself. It was way too hot for the day, but it made me feel safe.

Safer.

I don’t know if I’ll ever feelsafeagain.

After a lot ofare you okayandwe’re almost therecomments, Aidan parked and Briar opened the door. I climbed out and glanced at Aidan.

I had to say something. There was no way I wanted him in the hospital with me and being privy to any of the conversations. Then repeating it all back to Marshall.

Fuck him.

“Hey.” I bit my fingernail and glanced at Briar. “Can it be just you.”

“I’ll wait here,” Aidan replied, immediately understanding. I was so fucking grateful.

“We could be hours, babe. Go home. I’ll call you.” Briar told him, and the Marine nodded, hopping back inside the vehicle.

Briar guided me inside the hospital, her arm around my lower back. “I’m here okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Like a zombie I walked up to the reception desk and coldly spoke three words I never thought I’d say.

“I’ve been raped.”

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