Page 120 of The Soldier

She presses closer and my hands circle her small waist.

“I figured out that your dad had passed and came to the conclusion that’s why you didn’t date soldiers —toy soldiers.” I dip my head and look her right in the eye with a smile, and she blushes.

I take her chin.

“I get it, baby. Seeing my mom’s face when I left for a tour each time was hard. Really hard. I understand. It’s one of the reasons why I left the Army. Among other things.”

Trina watches me carefully.

“Why I declined to join Delta Force.” I rub my thumb over her chin. “Why I am no longer going to do any more black ops for BHS.”

Her hand flattens on my pec, and I hold it to my heart.

“I’ve been so goddamn confused. I thought I had it figured out until the moment you refused to come home with me after I fucked you in the bathroom. When you said you were going back out to Roger.”

She shakes her head, and I wish I could read her mind.

“I thought you knew he was a fucking soldier.”

She dips her head to my chest, and I break. Pulling her tightly against me, I let all the emotions I’ve been holding back go. Tears spill down my cheeks.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” I say over and over and over. “So sorry baby. So damn sorry.”

We stand there for what feels like hours. Her own tears soak my T-shirt and god I wish I could take back all her pain.

“I thought you chose him.” I sniff, holding my hand on her head. “I fucking thought you wanted him.”

“I didn’t,” Trina says, her voice muffled against me.

I drop my face into her hair and just hold her. I have no idea what’s going to happen next but having this moment to hold her and say I’m sorry is all I could have hoped for.

Protecting others has been my life’s purpose.

Of all the people in the world to have hurt... damn it, how did I let this happen?

Then it hits me. She’s not being defensive, she’s crying in my arms, opening up and letting me feel her pain.

I almost can’t breathe.

“You weren’t wrong, Marsh.” Trina uses my nickname, which I love hearing on her lips. “I’m ashamed to say I only met him the night before.”

I blanch a little.

She didn’t know him at all?

“Do you think he followed me? What are the chances he was at the same bar as me and my work colleagues?”

Fucking hell.

What a sick asshole. How he knew about Trina I have no idea. I never mentioned her at all in Kuwait. But he’s smart and it wouldn’t have taken him long to work it out once back in Los Angeles.

“Maybe.” I shake my head. “He linked you to me somehow.” I curse and pull her over to the sofa to sit down. “Fuck, I’m sorry baby.”

Trina curls up beside me and I wrap my arm around her.

“Tell me what happened next.”

“He was watching me from the bar. I ended up ordering a drink and talking to him.” She sighs, then takes my hand, herown so tiny next to it. “You can’t blame yourself, Marsh. I want to blame you, but Roger chose his actions. And I didn’t listen to Josh and Cole.”

---