Page 3 of Brutal Vows

My cheek throbs. Pain radiates through my thigh. I shake as first one stampede of footfalls then another thunders down the hall. My adrenaline drops, but as a man calls out, the band of fear clamps harder around my chest, making it more difficult to breathe.

“Police! Open the door and keep your hands where we can see them.”

I don’t move. I know I should, but I can’t. My feet refuse to lift from the linoleum. Indecision worms through me.

The last time I opened the door for a cop, my world came tumbling down. My mother’s screams echo in my memory. Her empty eyes haunt my nightmares. A part of me would rather deal with the Russian mob than the police, but I shove my misgivings aside and meet each of my coworkers’ eyes as I shuffle toward the door. The relief shining on their faces gives me the encouragement I need.

With shaking hands, I unbolt one side of the double doors and work the center latch free before looking through the window and meeting the eyes of the man on the other side. I raise my hands above my head and step backward, almost tripping on the dead man before blindly skirting around him.

The next few hours pass in a blur. Several policemen ask me basic questions, but I answer with as little detail as possible, praying my coworkers do the same, and avoid eye contact with my sister until the officials give us permission to head home.

Without a word, myself, my sister, and her two assistants, Tabitha and Ariel, cluster in the on-call room. After waiting my turn for a quick shower, I emerge with skin pink from the hot water and raw from my harsh scrubbing. My sister gives me a once-over, and for a moment, I don’t know how to respond to her tight expression, but then Tabitha breaks down and sobs.

I open my arms and gather the three women into a group hug. My sister and I have spent more time with these two ladies than with anyone else in our entire lives, so in some ways, I feel like a big sister to them, but I’ll always be an outsider. Livia is their leader and friend. I just offer support where she lets me.

Ariel joins Tabitha in releasing her emotions. Tears wet their faces and drip onto our shirts, but I hold them tighter and takea chance by resting my hand on my sister’s shoulder. She leans into my touch and drops her head onto my arm. I breathe a sigh of relief and soak up the contact, shoring the sensations away for when I feel touch starved.

Which is always, but she doesn’t owe me access to her body. She is her own person, and my guilt prevents me from asking her for more.

My throat thickens, but the moment is too precious for me to shed tears, and if all four of us break down, we’ll never leave this room, so I brace myself against the onslaught of emotions and focus on breathing through the turmoil.

For a few minutes, Livia cries softly between them, but she regains her composure and coaxes them back to the present.

“I thought we were for sure dead until you locked the door, Loretta. You saved us. Thank you,” Ariel sniffles.

Livia stiffens. I shake my head.

“We wouldn’t have survived if you three hadn’t stayed level-headed and saved that man. You’re the real heroes,” I say.

My sister reaches through the circle of people and cups my cheek. I hold my breath, dreading the moment she’ll pull away.

“Does it hurt? We should put some ointment on before we head home,” she suggests as she ghosts her thumb over where the Russian backhanded me.

I swallow and fight tears of gratitude.

“Yes, please.”

When my voice only slightly wavers, I give myself a mental pat on the back.

“You two are so sweet. You’re both so lucky to have each other,” Tabitha says. She dabs her eye with her sleeve before squaring her shoulders and extracting herself from the hug. “Now let’s head out before we fall apart again.”

Ariel agrees. My smile tightens despite my effort to hide my apprehension.

When Tabitha and Ariel linger instead of heading straight out the door, I retrieve the tube of ointment and offer it to Livia. She takes it from me and squeezes some onto her finger before dabbing it on my cheek and chin. With her lips in a thin line of concentration, she smooths the ointment over my face. I close my eyes and savor the care and devotion sinking into me from her touch.

It ends much too soon, but I thank her and put the ointment away before flinging my purse over my shoulder and following the small group out the door. We stay as a tight unit through the halls and into the streets, and for a few blocks, we walk in relative silence. Even with the various light sources, in my mind, every shadow holds writhing monsters. The tension emanating from my sister and her friends keeps me on high alert. I stay close on their heels with my head on a swivel, ready to jump in like a scrappy guard dog if any threats arise, but the walk proves uneventful.

Tabitha and Ariel hug Livia before offering me a farewell wave and hustling down the block toward their building.

Livia and I continue side by side for a few more minutes before reaching our destination. After she uses her key card to enter the building, I press mine to the elevator reader and stick my hand over the door sensor until she’s safely inside. She leans into the back corner and closes her eyes as I mash the button to our floor and stand at the front, shielding her from potential danger as we ascend and the doors open again. I scan both directions before stepping into the hallway and holding the doors open for her. She walks behind me until I stop beside her apartment.

“Can I—” I stop before I invite myself over for what we called a puppy pile when we were kids. We used to curl up with our older brother and mother like a litter of puppies, but those ended the moment my mamma died.

I swallow the lump in my throat.

She’s too tired. I can handle being alone. My twin needs her space.

“Can I have another hug?” I ask instead.

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