Page 8 of Skating Towards Danger

“Son,” Dad begins, and I growl, “No. You tried this shit with Roman six years ago, and he nearly walked away, so why in the fuck would you believe I would go any other way than he did?”

Roman cuts me off as he sits forward and admits, “David wants to retire,” I glare his way, but he shakes his head and continues, “he wants to spend more time with Ivy,” he sighs, “She's six Dante, and after missing so much of Morgan's life, his family needs to come first now, and I've given you an extra six months since I've taken over from dad. I'm respected, but the men want to know why my brother hasn't taken over as second. It's time, little brother.”

After missing so much of Morgan's life, no thanks to her mother taking her away, David refused to have any more kids, only wanting his daughter, but life has a way of doing things unexpectedly, and his wife fell pregnant. Morgan helped her dad realize he could have her in his life and have another baby, and I feel for him, I do, but I'm not ready to retire, not now and not for them on their terms.

This is my life, I'm not the Don.

Roman got an extra year of hockey, something he demanded. Dad agreed, and now he wants me to give up my career. I shake my head at their hypocrisy and stand, causing both their eyes to widen.

“Years, I spent years having your back despite the fact I was forced to kill a fucking woman, forced to bring out my demon that I struggle daily to keep under wraps, and yet all I asked for was a few more years to enjoy my passion, something I helped ensure you got and you fucking promised me I’d get my time on the ice at your retirement party,” I growl lowly and dad looks down in shame while Roman keeps eye contact with me.

“Find another second because I'm out,” I state, and his eyes widen while Dad's head shoots up in shock. “I stuck by you through thick and thin, including when you wanted Morgan,helping any way I could despite you going to Dad behind my back when I didn't want a kill on my conscious at eleven years fucking old,” I hold my arms open and finish, “I am done. Don't contact me when you need me regarding the organization any longer. Hockey is my focus until I retire on my terms.”

I turn and walk away, leaving them shocked.

I put my family and brother first for years, but now I'm putting myself first.

I just hope I can control my demon.

Chapter 2

Paige – Twenty-Three

The music blares in my ears as I skate backward, gently gliding from side to side as I keep my eyes closed, trying to block everything out and just concentrate on my movement.

I love the ice, how cold it is, and how smooth it feels underneath my blades. I hate the memories it brings me every time I step foot on it, knowing I'll never get more with those I love most.

“Rose no….”

My father’s painful shout from that fateful day taunts me, and I pick up speed.

I don't skate much, especially since losing my family. The pain that the crash may never have happened if they hadn't picked me up from school and if they hadn't stayed to watch me skate kills me. My mind takes over when memories try to drown me, theice seems to be the only thing to settle me again which is ironic really and knowing this is to celebrate their life even if it hurts, especially on a day like today. I suck it up and do what I have to just like I do when the memories try and take over and I need to forget even if it is just for an hour.

I take steady breaths and pick up my speed, and keeping my eyes shut, I bend my knees and spring into the air with a spin before landing perfectly with my left leg behind me straight, my body slightly bent forward, and my arms out straight beside me completing the axel jump, something my Momma ensured I knew how to do when I was only eight before I continue to skate and get lost in my world where the past doesn't exist.

Picking up my speed, I do the exact jump repeatedly, landing perfectly both times before I skid to a halt, spraying ice as I do. I breathe hard as my t-shirt sticks to my skin by my sweat, and a feeling of pride overtakes me that I managed to perfectly do the axle jump three times in a row, even adding a spin with the first one and didn’t break my stride.

I open my eyes and look at the empty stands. A small part of me expects to see Momma grinning wide, and sadness takes hold of me because she’s not there, instead she’s six feet under. The pride disappears, and the guilt for being here takes hold like it always does, even though I'm here to remember them on this day when I see the stands empty.

This is the home of the Jaguars undefeated ice hockey team and the place where they hold competitions—competitions Momma was a part of, competitions I technically should be involved in right now, maybe even the Olympics like Momma and I used to talk about, but I'm not.

This was my home away from home, but not anymore.

Just being on the ice while yes calms me, it also brings back so many good memories that it makes me want to cry because they're memories I can never get back.

We should be here together, and just enjoying this feeling makes me hate myself. It's why I quit figure skating to begin with.

Every time I got that enjoyment feeling, the happiness, hate would overtake me and that hate is dangerous.

Until I turned sixteen, I was forced to continue skating and practicing. My Aunt and Uncle urged me not to let go of something I loved, and I agreed to keep them happy. I mean, they did take in an orphan who switched off from the world, but the more I skated, the more I struggled to breathe because every time I looked up to the stands, I expected to see my Momma and Daddy cheering me on and Royal…

God…

Would he have black hair like mine? Would he be skating, too?

I look away from the stands and gently glide backward, allowing my body to pull me around the rink.

He would have been fifteen today.

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