Page 116 of Sawyer

It’s another post-drop-off coffee date on Friday. We have sex, and then we play hooky for an hour and sit by the fire he lights at his place, laughing and talking about everythingbutthe future of our relationship.

We do make plans for a weekend filled with sex, food, dancing, mezcal negronis, and more sex. Sawyer’s brothers offer babysitting coverage for both days, and I confirm with Dan that he’ll be taking Junie.

The prospect of having not one, buttwo whole daysto do whatever I want has me both giddy and apprehensive. I need to tell Sawyer how I’m feeling—to talk to him about the doubts I have, and what we’re going to do about our differing versions of happily ever after.

Dan is the normal amount of late on Saturday. Per our custody agreement, he’s supposed to pick June up at twelve, the idea being that June would nap on the ride back to Dan’s place. But he usually arrives around three or four, so I have her nap here first. I learned the hard way not to keep her up for him. We’re going to have to revisit the schedule now that Junie is in school and he can’t keep her super late on Sundays anymore.

Today, he knocks on my door at quarter past four. Luckily Junie took a decent nap, so she’ll be in good spirits on the drive back to his place.

Doing my best to ignore the familiar twist of resentment in my chest, I open the door with a smile.

“Junie, look who it is,” I say.

Dan steps inside. “Hey, y’all. Sorry I’m late.”

No you’re not.

“Daddy!” Junie screams, launching herself into his outstretched arms.

He wraps her in a tight hug, lifting her off the ground. “Hey, princess! Oh, I’ve missed you. We get the whole weekend together. We’re going to have fun, aren’t we?”

“The most fun,” June replies. “Can Mommy come though?”

The feeling in my chest twists tighter. “Aw, Bug, you and daddy are going to have special time together, remember? I’ll be waiting for you right here when he drops you back off tomorrow.”

She pouts. “But I want you both to be with me today.”

“Well, your mommy made that call.” Dan pinches her cheek. “We can’t all be together anymore.”

“Hey,” I fire back.

“What? You’re the one who wanted it this way.”

Exhibit A how my ex loathes who I am and doesn’t understand the choices I make. Amazing how much easier Sawyer is to deal with. Talk to.Bewith.

“Dan, not in front of her, okay?”

“Clearly she knows this isn’t normal.” He puts June down, and she immediately wraps herself around my legs.

I pat her back soothingly. “It’s all right, Bug. Mommy and Daddy are just having a little disagreement.” I give him a look. “Do you not want to take her? Because I’m more than happy?—”

“Of course I want to take my daughter. I just hate when she’s all bummed out like this.”

“She’ll be fine once she’s in your car. Isn’t that right, June? I packed her tablet and it’s fully charged. We downloadedRapunzel?—”

“Mr. Sawyer helped me do it!” June announces proudly. “He’s so nice. He’s always helping me and Mommy.”

My stomach dips as Dan’s eyes take on a hard, mean glimmer.

“Who is Mr. Sawyer?”

“Mommy goes on dates with him.”

Dan stares at me. My thoughts race.

He and I are divorced. I’m allowed to go on dates with other people. I’m not doing anything wrong here. Yeah, maybe he’s questioning my decision to introduce June to Sawyer without informing Dan first. But really, how could I have avoided that? Our daughters go to school together, for crying out loud. They’re best friends. Ms. Sherman constantly tells us at pickup how inseparable they are.

I planned on telling Dan about Sawyer. But this all has happened so fast, and I haven’t had a minute to call my ex and fill him in.

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