Page 118 of Sawyer

“I never wanted this whole arrangement.” He points a finger at me. “Youdid.”

My lungs burn. So do my eyes. I hate that I still cry when I get upset. I can be sad, angry, overwhelmed—any big feeling makes me tear up.

I’m a lot like June in that respect, I guess.

It’s also something Dan hated about me. He said I was too emotional. Too much.

I close my eyes. My voice wobbles when I say, “Dan, I think you should leave.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I’m just trying to have a conversation with you.”

“No, you’re trying to upset me, and I am so not here for it.”

“You say he’s a good guy? Prove it. Give me your phone.”

My eyes pop open. “Excuse me?”

“Show me what he says to you.” Dan holds out his hand. “Your texts with him. You want me to believe you, I need proof.”

I laugh. “Absolutely not.”

“Show me, Ava,” he replies, “unless you want this to become a bigger problem? My lawyer’s just a phone call away.”

I step back, barely able to breathe around the constriction in my throat. “I’m not going to let you bully me. Leave, Dan. Why don’t you leave June here while you’re at it if you’re going to act this way?”

“I’m not going to let you bring strange men around my daughter. Show me the phone, Ava.”

I can only stare at him. It’s crystal clear that this man does not like the person I am now or the choices I’m making.

Talking to him is like beating my head against a wall. So different from howeasyit is to be with Sawyer. To talk to him. He never second-guesses me this way.

He’d never invade my privacy, because he trusts me.

Sawyer genuinely trusts me.Which makes me think I really can trust myself.

“I didn’t want to get divorced either, Dan,” I say, keeping my voice low. “But we are divorced, which means you have absolutely no right to look at my phone. June is really looking forward to having a nice weekend?—”

“I’ll have a nice weekend once I know my daughter is safe.”

“Right, because I would intentionally put our three-year-old in danger by texting with a guy.” I roll my eyes again and turn on my heel. “Whatever, Dan.”

“Don’t walk away from me.”

“Dan,” I say as calmly as possible, “please leave.”

“The phone, Ava.”

I glare at him. “Dan?—”

“Just give me the phone.”

“How many times do I have to tell you no?” I turn back around to face him. “Get out of here. Now.”

“Mommy? Is Mommy okay?”

My stomach drops when I realize Junie can hear us.

“I’m fine, Bug!” I call. Then I meet Dan’s eyes and whisper, “I’ll do you a solid and forget you asked to invade my privacy if you go. Right now, Dan.”

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