Page 59 of Sawyer

When did she get so big? It’s so true what they say about the days being long, but the years being short. I can’t believe it’s time for my baby to go to school.

“I like that idea.” I hit my blinker and guide my Subaru into the preschool parking lot. It’s already busy, minivans and SUVs crowding the lot. Moms and Dads walk hand in hand with their kids toward the adorable farmhouse-turned-preschool, which sits beneath a pair of enormous oak trees.

My stomach flips. I think I’m even more nervous for Junie’s first day of school than I was for my own.

But June? She literally lets out a squeal of delight. “Mommy, is this my school?”

“It sure is.” I park and turn off the car. Tucking my hair behind my ears, I give my eyes a discreet wipe before putting on my sunglasses. “Isn’t it so cute? And look at all those kids! Junie, you’re going to have so much fun.”

She wiggles her little legs. “Can you unbuckle me, Mommy?”

“Let’s call Daddy really quick, okay? He wanted to talk to you before you go in.”

Junie pouts. “But I don’t want to talk to Daddy. I want to go to school.”

My chest clenches. I’d rather pry out my eyeballs than talk to Dan right now, but I feel guilty he’s not here for this.

Then again, that’s kind of his fault. He said he had to work this morning—that’s always his excuse—so he couldn’t make the hour-long drive to Hartsville. Of course he was all annoyed that I couldn’t push Junie’s first day to a date that was more convenient for him, but I’ve learned to stick to my guns.

Junie comes first. Always. I tried for years to accommodate Dan, bending over backward to keep him happy. Or, at the very least, keep him from being angry or grumpy. I always had dinner ready and June occupied when he got home from work so he could relax. I’d take her out of the house on the weekends so he could nap or watch football. I maintained solid relationships with both our families, and made sure we split holidays evenly so no one’s feelings got hurt. I planned every birthday party. Took June to every appointment and gave her a bath every night, all in the hope that Dan would never feel overwhelmed or resentful.

I did everything to the point thatIwas the one who ended up drowning in resentment. And yet no matter how hard I tried—how often I sacrificed my well-being, or my daughter’s—Dan was still a dark cloud hanging over our lives. There’s no pleasing the man.

Which is why, when I got the email about a spot opening up for Junie in the threes class, I immediately took it, even though I knew Dan would give me a hard time about “not involving” him more in the timing—despite the fact that he agreed Junie needed to be in school.

It’s a classic case of damned if I do, damned if I don’t. No wonder our marriage didn’t last. Being Dan’s wife was like living in a cage.

Amazing how different I feel when I’m with Sawyer. I haven’t stopped thinking about our conversation at the park. It was fun and funny and real.

It was, in short, just what I needed.

Back in Austin, I’d felt so free when we were together. I could do no wrong. I didn’t have to babysit his feelings. Manage his expectations.

I just did what I wanted, and Sawyer didn’t mind that one bit.

In fact, he’d seemed to relish it. Same way he relished my honesty at the park. I hate feeling like I can’t be real with someone, especially about things like parenthood and family. My forthrightness used to embarrass Dan. He’d call me an oversharer and counsel me to be a little classier. A little quieter.

Somehow, I know Sawyer would hate me being quiet.

But that’s neither here nor there. Sawyer is a friend. Aparentfriend, the father of June’s new BFF. Sure, he’s sexy as hell. But that doesn’t mean we’ll ever have a repeat of Austin. Life is too good in Hartsville right now. I have no desire to rock the boat.

I grab my phone and hit Dan’s number, holding it up so Junie can see the screen.

He picks up and smiles. “Hey, June Bug!”

“Hey, Daddy,” she says.

“Today’s such a big day for you,” he replies. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah.”

His eyes cut to me. “Well, I wish I could be there. I’m so sorry to miss it.”

“Okay.” June glances out the window and tugs at her car seat straps.

I bite back a smile. “Junie, aren’t you excited?”

“Yes! Can we go now?”

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