Page 12 of Fallen

He caught a whiff of leather and whiskey as he let himself into his apartment and all but threw himself into the shower, eager to erase all evidence of the night. He buried his clothing beneath yesterday’s clothes in the hamper and determinedly focused on his nightly routine, scrubbing himself raw in the shower, brushing his teeth aggressively, and finally laying down—reluctantly, when he had nothing else to distract him.

There, staring up at his ceiling fan, he felt more alone than ever. His ceiling fan twirled just the same, but everything felt different now. The cold, yawning chasm on the empty side of the bed seemed to taunt him. He’d been alone for so long, it’d begun to feel normal. But something about tonight made him realize how lonely he was. There was no one he could talk to about what had happened with Talon. No one he could confess his muddled feelings to.

He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had treated him so tenderly. It seemed a strange dichotomy, to be touched so sweetly by something so monstrous. Talon’s fingers had brushed his jaw and throat with infinite softness, like Alex was something to be handled with care, something precious he didn’t want to see damaged. He’d expected the opposite when he walked into In Extremis. He’d expected to be tested, to be threatened, maybe even hurt. He’d prepared himself to endure it no matter what for the sake of finding answers.

Wasit a test? Halflings were tempters. Had Talon been tempting him? Alex didn’t want to admit it, even to himself, but he’d been unmoored by Talon’s kindness and his sheerpresence. The guild had raised him, housed him, and trained him, but they weren’t his family. He’d shared more intimacy with the demon in that club than anyone else in his life since he was small enough for his mother’s lap.

Hunting guild-approved demons was all there was to his life. He’d never had a partner or a long-term relationship of any kind. All he did was hunt and fight and think about revenge. Tonight with this demon, he was ashamed to say he’d felt things he’d never felt before. He rarely dated, rarely even felt an interest, which made his reaction to this demon all the more shocking. And it wasn’t like paladins were monks. Plenty of them had partners and spouses, even children, who often grew up to fight for the guild just like their parents. But that life had never interested Alex. He’d been too focused on vengeance. But now…

He’d given his phone number to ademon. It felt like he’d invited a demon into an intimate part of his life. The part that not even the guild had access to. Not the Alex he presented for work and hunting, but the one he became at home. The one who laid under the ceiling fan just like this andcrackedas the weight of his own self-imposed solitude overwhelmed him.

But what else was there? He worked, he slept. There wasn’t room for anything else in his life.

With a fitful huff, he grabbed his phone off the bedside table. Just because he didn’t have a relationship didn’t mean he was alone. He had friends. To prove it, he went to his contacts and scrolled through them for someone,anyone, he could talk to. But it was paladin after paladin. People from his squad, people from his graduating class he never had time to hang out with anymore because they’d taken different paths in the guild, administrative numbers he needed to remember. No one he might dare to confess to about what he’d done tonight. That he’d walked into the monster’s den and it hadn’t been the worst decision he’d ever made.

When he reached Talon’s name, he stopped scrolling.

The only other person who knew Alex had broken the rules and gone to In Extremis alone… was Talon.

He shouldn’t. Hereallyshouldn’t, but he tapped Talon’s number anyway, opening up the text chat where a message already waited from earlier.

Hello.

Did you mean it?

He pressed send before he could second-guess himself. Talon’s response was immediate.

Mean what?

That you would help me.

His stomach lurched. He shouldn’t be doing this, but the chasm beside him felt smaller now.

I’m a man of my word.

Ha. Sounds like something a liar would say.

I guess you’ll just have to have a little faith. You’re good at that, right?

Alex realized he was smiling.

I don’t think my priest would approve of my having faith in a demon.

Sounds like your priest needs a drink.

Alex snorted.

We don’t really drink.

Really? I couldn’t tell.

He rolled onto his side, turning his back to the empty side of the bed, just as his phone chimed with another text.

I’ll either come through for you or I won’t, little bird. Either way, you lose nothing. You only owe me that favor if I find something, remember?

Anxiety moved through him. What kind of favor would he ask for? Something that would compromise Alex’s morality? Should he hope that Talon found a lead, then, or not? He so desperately wanted to get ahead of Michael’s investigation and find this demon himself.

He fell asleep with his phone clutched in his hands, worrying about what was to come.

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