Page 26 of Unholy

He jerked awake, panting hard. His gaze wheeled aroundthe room as though searching for the threat before settling on Malachi, trailing down and back up his body, reorienting himself in the present once again. Trembling hands reached out for him, and Malachi folded Luke into his arms, letting Luke tuck his face against his neck and cling until the trembling subsided.

Internally, Malachi fretted. Did this have something to do with his presence? Did he cause this somehow? The last thing he wanted was to cause Luke any kind of distress.

On barely a breath, Malachi whispered, “Is this my fault?”

With a big sniffle, Luke lifted his head and sealed their mouths together. Malachi uttered a noise of surprise, sinking into it until Luke pulled away.

“No,” he said, “you didn’t cause this. I have nightmares sometimes, about—how I got these scars.” He gestured to the side of his face.

Malachi gently trailed the backs of his fingers down the scars on his cheek and jaw. “Did you kill the thing that did it?”

Luke’s mouth twisted, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Yes. Barely.” He tucked himself closer, resting his head on Malachi’s shoulder, and then his quiet voice filled the air. “It was a routine patrol, not even that far from HQ. Accidents happen, y’know. Sometimes you don’t see a single monster all night, and sometimes you can barely catch a break. On this night, we came across a body. It had attracted half a dozen demons to the area, but my partner and I didn’t realize it until we were surrounded. We radioed for backup, but we were overwhelmed. Matty went down first. I tried to help him, but one of them knocked me off my feet.I felt… incredible pain in my face and neck, but I could stillseehim. They were tearing into him. I tried to get to him—” He broke off with a choked sob.

“Luke,” Malachi groaned, squeezing him tightly. He didn’t want to hear any more.

“The others arrived then, and the demon that had attacked me was distracted. I was covered in blood, but I had to help. Adrenaline was probably the only reason I didn’t pass out. I jumped back into the fight to help the rest of my squad. I didn’t know if Matty was dead or alive, but we had to get him out of there either way. We couldn’t leave him for the demons to feast on.”

Tears were gathering on Malachi’s shoulder, and he fought the urge to clamp a hand over Luke’s mouth. He wanted to tell this story, and the least Malachi could do was listen.

“Six demons against seven humans still weren’t great odds. We managed to kill four of the demons, but it wasn’t enough. I saw them all go down, one by one. Ross, Cole, Landon, Shawn, Frankie, Devin, and Thomas. And then it was just me. Two against one.”

Malachi pressed his lips to Luke’s forehead. “But you survived.”

“I did. One of them was injured. I grabbed the holy water from Shawn’s belt. They did plenty more damage before I killed them. I couldn’t walk by the time it was over. I’d bled out too much. I found someone’s phone in the middle of the carnage, cracked but usable, and called for help. Then I passed out. When I came to, I was in the medical wing, bandaged and doped to the gills. The only survivor of the attack.”

Luke survived, but he would carry the trauma of thatnight with him for the rest of his life, scarred in both body and mind. Why had the guild sent him back out into the field after something like that? A slow rage crested within him. Luke had nearly died, and what did the guild do? They patched him up and sent him right back into the field. Did Luke have a choice at all, or was it a foregone conclusion that he had to continue fighting as long as drew breath?

“Did you ask to go back into the field after you healed?” he asked, because surely the good guys wouldn’t disregard their own people’s pasts like that. Surely theycared.

Luke leaned back to peer up at him in confusion, and Malachi thumbed away the tear tracks around his eyes. “No? I’m a paladin. They put me with a new squad after I healed. Being with others gave me so much anxiety, though, I eventually requested to patrol alone. I couldn’t stand the idea of watching anyone else die.”

Malachi didn’t realize he was growling until Luke poked him.

“Why are you doing that? What’s wrong?”

“They shouldn’t have sent you back out there,” he said mulishly. “Aren’t there other ways to serve your guild and your god without risking your life?”

Luke frowned. “I’m a paladin, Mal. This is what I’ve trained all my life for. I don’t possess the skills to do anything else.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You can always learn new skills. If they didn’t give you the option for anything else, it’s because they didn’t care enough to.”

Luke sat up, and Malachi followed him, realizing his misstep after the fact.

“They do care,” Luke said, scowling. “But there arerealmonsters out there. Someone has to hunt them down, and I’m one of the few who can.”

“They train new paladins every year, don’t they? Why do you have to keep putting yourself in danger?”

“Why not me?” Luke said, his voice strained. “Why should new recruits—teenagers—put their lives in danger when I have the experience and the skills to handle it?”

Frustration clawing up his throat, Malachi reached for him, cradling his face. “I don’t want you to become a martyr for them, treasure. I want you to besafe.”

“I survived,” Luke whispered, the weight of his words curving his spine. “I have to keep fighting for them, because I let them down.”

“You don’t owe the dead anything, baby,” Malachi whispered, kissing him softly. “I promise you, they aren’t hanging around to watch. They’re gone, and you don’t deserve to suffer forever because of what happened. Please, don’t let this guilt crush you. I don’t want to watch you break.”

Luke’s hands fit against his sides, leaning against him to chase his mouth. Malachi obliged him, guiding him down onto the pillow as his tongue massaged Luke’s. He only parted from him, reluctantly, when Luke’s breathing became labored. Now wasn’t the time for more.

“Are you okay?” he asked. The words tasted unfamiliar. He wasn’t sure he’d ever said them before.

---