Page 69 of Wilder Heart

He swallowed it all back down. Now wasn’t the time. Not right now, when he had to leave. That wasn’t a conversation to have in the moments before he left. When he said those words, he wanted to be able to take his time with them. Say them and show them at the same time. Make Wilder feel them.

Wilder’s face had softened, his blue eyes filled with vulnerability. How much of Cash’s feelings were visible in his expression? Could Wilder see the truth?

“Can I call you tonight?” Cash asked. “I’d like to hear your voice before I fall asleep.”

A slow flush spread across Wilder’s face and neck. It made Cash want to do very dirty things to him. “Yeah. I’d like that.” He cleared his throat, smirking mischievously. “Phone sex isn’t off the table either, just FYI.”

Heat trailed like fingers across his skin. “Good to know. Looks like I’m penciling in an early night tonight.”

Wilder chuckled, then groaned, sliding his hands down to Cash’s chest and giving him a gentle push. “You should go. Lain’s probably waiting.”

“In a minute.” He licked his way into Wilder’s mouth first, kissing hungrily until Wilder slid a hand into his back pocket and urged their groins together, letting Cash feel the bulge behind his zipper, pressing against his own.

“We don’t have time to get off right now,” Wilder groaned. “Get going, you big tease.”

“Fine,” Cash groused. “Don’t forget me while I’m gone.”

Wilder barked out a laugh. “I could never.”

With a sigh, Cash pulled away and left him to grab his bag from his room. He locked up, and when he reemerged, Wilder was still standing on the sidewalk, his laundry bag on his shoulder once more.

Cash offered him the key to his room, and Wilder stared at it in confusion.

“Why are you giving me that?”

“Just in case. There could be a fire. There could be some kind of emergency where you need to get into my room for something.”

Wilder gently plucked the key from his hand. “You think so?”

“Mm-hm. Or maybe when I call you tonight, I’ll ask you to sneak in and get yourself off on my bed.”

Wilder’s lips parted, and Cash grinned, shrugging innocently.

“You never know.” Seriously, he hooked a finger under Wilder’s chin and drew him into a sweet, lingering kiss. “I really will miss you, even though I know it’s only one night.”

“I’ll miss you, too. The ranch won’t be the same without you.”

Leaving was the hardest thing Cash had ever done, with Wilder looking at him so soft and fond. He hoped this brief interlude in their blooming relationship only strengthened their bond. Absence made the heart grow fonder, right? Although if that was true, Cash’s heart might explode. He wasn’t sure how much fonder he could get.

Lain was waiting for him by the truck when he rounded the bunkhouse. They were hauling an empty cattle trailer, hopeful that they’d have something to bring home with them.

“Ready to go?” Lain asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” He said it lightly, but the words were truer than Lain realized. As they clambered into the truck, with Lain behind the wheel, Cash asked, “How are you feeling about leaving Mary-Beth?”

Lain blew out a breath, shaking his head. “Kind of shitty, to be honest. I know she’s still a few weeks from her due date, but twins can make things unpredictable. I wouldn’t be going at all if she hadn’t told me to. She knows we need to hit one more auction before the babies get here. Lord knows when I’ll find another chance after they’re born. I don’t plan to be away from them much for that first year. It’s hard enough with one baby. It’ll take both of us to handle two.”

“I can only imagine.” He dimly recalled some of Lain and Mary-Beth’s issues with baby Annalise seven years ago, when the ranch was struggling and they were all barely eking out a living. The bunkhouse hadn’t been built then—that was a new development in the last couple of years—and Cash had still beenliving out of his camper. Annalise was a colicky baby, which meant many late nights with a screaming infant. Cash often saw Lain on the front porch in the middle of the night, dutifully rocking Annalise on the swing while Mary-Beth tried to get some sleep.

Lain shot him a speculative look. “What about you? Ever think you’ll have kids?”

“Me? God, I have no idea. Not anytime soon.” Rather against his will, he imagined what it would be like to have that kind of future with Wilder. Living together, sharing everything, adopting or getting a surrogate and then bringing a squishy little baby into their relationship. Watching the kids grow up, sitting on a front porch of their own and admiring the life they’d built.

It would be a dream. One he wasn’t sure Wilder even wanted.

Consciously, he scaled back the dream. Did he want a life with Wilder? Maybe. But he’d be happy with a relationship they could be out and proud about.

“Maybe one day,” he added. “Let me establish a relationship first.” He very carefully didn’t say ‘find’ a relationship.

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