Page 79 of Wilder Heart

“Wilder,” Cash said gently, and the sound of his voice knocked Wilder back to the present.

He gathered all the steel he had left, using it to straighten his spine, and nodded. “Fine. Consider me gone.”

“Wilder,” Mary-Beth said plaintively, “you don’t have to?—”

Wilder shook his head and turned on his heel, because Lain wouldn’t even look at him now, and he wasn’t going to stick around where he wasn’t wanted.

Cash reached for him. “Wilder.”

He dodged around Cash’s seeking hand, because if he touched him, Wilder would fall apart. He’d rather rip off his own arm that let these people see him break. He wrenched the door open and strode out.

The minute he was away from them, he broke into a run.

They’d never wanted him here, had they? Lain endured his presence because… Wilder didn’t know. Maybe he felt sorry for Wilder having nowhere else to go. Maybe he felt like he couldn’t say no. The ranch had grown and flourished, and maybe Robertwas right. Maybe he was a plague on the whole place. Maybe it had outgrown him completely. Mary-Beth was probably just trying to be nice by letting him feel included. If Lain didn’t want him there, why would she? He was nothing to her. And Annalise… She was seven. Her opinions clearly couldn’t be trusted. She liked her grandpa, after all, and he was a heinous old man. Maybe Wilder was really no better.

A part of him had always known his time at the ranch was temporary. He just hadn’t expected it all to unravel quite like this.

He mindlessly strode across the parking lot to the truck—Lain’s truck, technically, but there was another truck at the back of the parking lot with a Blackwood Ranch trailer hitched to it, so it wasn’t like he was leaving them stranded.

He drove on autopilot, his mind racing. He was loath to leave. Blackwood Ranch was the only home he’d ever known. Leaving it would mean leaving Cash, leaving Blaze. He would have to completely start over, but at least if he left Roselake he wouldn’t ever have to listen to anyone call him amonsteragain.

Dad was the monster. He’d fought the monster and lived to tell the tale, but no one wanted to listen. They condemned him for not enduring the abuse until he could escape.

When the ranch came into view, it was like looking through time. He could see it as it once was, a palimpsest of the neglected home he once knew and the lovingly restored family home he barely recognized.

He’d never felt more like a stranger in the place where he grew up.

He parked crookedly in front of his door and got out, stomping across the grass and jamming the key into the lock. He slammed the door hard and got to work, laying his worn duffel on the bed and opening one drawer after another. Not all of his clothes would fit, but he made sure he had enough, then put on apair of jeans, grabbed his jacket and his bag, and returned to the door.

Cash would just have to understand. One person wanting him here wasn’t enough to undo the whole damn town wishing he’d disappear. It would hurt to leave him, but at least this way they would have a clean break. Cash deserved better than him, anyway.

Or that was what he kept telling himself, dashing the tears away as they fell. His eyes snagged on the e-reader on his bedside table, and he sniffled hard.

“Fuck,” he said wetly.

“What’s going on?” a familiar voice said behind him.

Wilder turned, shutting his door decisively as he met Billy’s eyes. “I’m leaving.”

Billy’s expression sharpened as he took in Wilder’s watery eyes and packed duffel.

“I’m sure you’re heartbroken about the decision,” Wilder dismissed, moving past him.

“Let me give you a ride.”

Wilder stopped, shooting him a skeptical look. “What? Why?”

Billy shrugged. “You’re right, I never wanted you here. I’m not sad to see you go. But driving you myself will save us a trip into town later to pick up the truck. I mean, I assume you’re taking the bus or something out of town, right? Not just stealing the truck?”

Wilder bristled. “Yeah, I’d leave it somewhere. I’m not a total asshole.”

Billy smiled lopsidedly, but there was little humor in it. “Sure. So?”

He sighed. “Fine. Let’s get a move on.” He tossed his bag in the backseat and climbed into the passenger seat.

Billy didn’t say a word as he put the truck in gear and guided it around the circular drive, which was just as well. Wilder dropped his head in his hands and stared at his boots. He’d get a room at the motel until morning and then take the first bus out of Roselake. After that… who knew.

CHAPTER 25

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