Page 71 of Meet Jon, the Billionaire

“Why is that?” Chandler asked. “Are you finally going to get that brain implant?”

“Ha fucking Ha,” I said as I considered the room. Besides Stan the Man, Chandler, Mason, and myself, the board was made up of older people. Still, they enjoyed our antics, and often stated that our meetings were always the most fun. I had a good feeling about our presentation. “No, it’s your lucky day because you get to try Petunia Pies for the first time.”

“Petunia Pies?”

On cue, Amelia and I began handing them out, each in its own fluted wrapper. “These are Petunia Pies… sorry, Mr. Krenshaw, but they do contain a small amount of hazelnut.”

“I think I’ll take a Benadryl and have a bite or two anyway,” he said, eyes glazed over with desire for the deep-fried, sugar-coated confection sitting before him.

For a moment, Amelia and I waited with bated breath as they took their first bites. Sure, we’d had good success with focus groups, but we were trying to convince the board that these particular pies were good enough to make money on. Much higher standard.

Mason frowned and looked over at Stan the Man. Stan shook his head and sighed. My heart started to sink.

“Jesus Christ, Jonathon,” Mason said with a sigh. “Did you HAVE to bring us something so delicious when I’m trying to cut down on my sugar?”

“I’d pay for this,” Krenshaw said. “I’d so pay for this.”

“Me too,” Chandler admitted, licking a bit of chocolate marshmallow cream from his finger. “You’ve got my vote.”

“Hold your horses,” Amelia said with a grin. “You haven’t even seen our sales projections yet.”

We made the less interesting, less fun part of our presentation. Pie charts, bar graphs, spreadsheets, and data analysis. Everyone finished their pies, and Amelia surreptitiously set out a second helping in the middle of the table for anyone to partake of.

After two hours, Amelia and I walked out of the board meeting with big smiles on our faces.

“They loved it!” She said. For a moment I thought she was going to jump into my arms, but then she caught herself. “Congratulations, Jonathon.”

“Thanks.” I wasn’t sure what to say. “Um, I’ll withdraw our bid first thing in the morning when the zoning office opens.”

“Thanks.” She seemed to want to say something, but ultimately did not. “See you around, Jonathon.”

“Yeah, see you.”

I watched as she walked out the door, and out of my life forever. The pain in my chest soon became superseded by a sharp pain in my rear.

“Ow! What the fuck?” I turned around to find Mason standing there.

“Go after her, you idiot.”

“What?”

“For fuck’s sake, man, it was obvious to everyone in the boardroom that the two of you are totally into each other. Go get her.”

“It would create a conflict of interest… and anyway, she made it clear she doesn’t want to be anything more than friends.”

“I’m not sure either of you are being honest with your feelings.” Mason sighed. “Look, bro, you can always step down as CEO of Acme Bread. Boom. No more conflict of interest.”

“I… do you think that would work?” I looked out the door where Amelia had disappeared. “Do you think she’ll take me back?”

“Only one way to find out—or do I have to kick you again?”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. But by the time I got to the lobby, Amelia was already long gone.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Amelia

True to his word, Jonathon removed Acme Bread’s bid for the corner lot.

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