Page 22 of Meet Stan

why

It took her that long to type one word?

It’s what couples do. Drop in on each other unannounced.

um ok but we only had one date in canon

Canon? I cackled. It was just too ridiculous.

All right. So what if we make our second date Chandler and June’s baby shower tomorrow night?

Again the three dots. Again they moved for an awful long time before—

ok what should i wear

Something formal. Don’t worry about a gift, I’ll get one and say it’s from both of us.

i dont have a lot of formal clothes in my closet

Go find yourself something nice and send me the bill.

boyfriends dont buy their girlfriends dresses after the first date

It hit me like a slap in the face. I suddenly remembered it was all pretend. Not real.

Maybe this one does. I am a multibillionaire.

fine

So, does this mean I’m your boyfriend now? In canon, I mean?

No dots. Just nothing, for a long time. I got disgusted and set the phone down. Then, a moment later.

ill see you tomorrow night

Nice way to skirt the issue. I was feeling frustrated, most of all with myself. Why should I care if my pretend girlfriend wasn’t willing to call herself my pretend girlfriend yet? I guess we were just pretend-seeing each other? Pretend-going steady?

I had to remind myself not to get carried away. My college roommate was into that dungeons and dragons stuff, and he once got mad because someone killed his elf person character on graph paper. He carried the grudge into the real world.

That was a mistake I hoped to avoid. The greatest thing about my fake relationship was I could reap some of the benefits of having a real one without the pesky commitment or inevitable heartache.

I stopped fretting over the way she got up from the booth. After all, she’d done us both a favor. Good job, Ivy. Way to look out for us and the agreement.

It would be better for everyone if I just remembered it was all pretend.

In spite of myself, I anticipated the date so much the next day seemed to drag by. I checked out of work early and got a fresh haircut and style and a manicure before donning one of my best, most versatile suits. Good for a board room meeting or a late-night gala.

I splashed on some cologne, and then made one last stop before going to pick up my pretend girlfriend.

Soon I stood at her door, pressing the doorbell with my free hand. I clutched a bouquet of lavender, red, and yellow flowers in the other. My heart thudded in my chest, which was annoying since it was a fake date.

The door opened, and she took my breath away. She’d found herself a red minidress with long, translucent sleeves and a sweetheart scooped neckline that showed just the right amount of cleavage. The skirt flared out in a peplum style below her waist and was adorned with ruffles with subtle butterfly embroidery.

As fantastic as she looked in that dress, once I made eye contact, I couldn’t tear my gaze away. Her already incredibly compelling eyes were enhanced—rather unfairly, I’d say—by smoky eye shadow and a thin but ineffably black liner. Ruby red lips stretched in a slight, almost shy smile. She’d done her dark, wavy hair up into a double French braid, emphasizing the curves of her prominent cheekbones.

“You look fantastic,” I said breathlessly.

“Thanks,” she said. I think she blushed, but seeing as she already wore blush it was hard to tell. “Are those for me?”

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