Page 16 of Meet Stan

“And what point is that?” she cocked an eyebrow and waited

“That love is just a sham, a fool’s game, and flies in the face of human nature.” I spoke in a rush, a bit surprised at my own vitriol. She seemed taken aback, but then she started nodding.

“Yeah, I get it. It’s human nature to want to spread your genes far and wide, and have as many kids with as many partners as possible.”

“Exactly,” I said, thumping my fist on the table. “I mean, the whole thing is an exercise in futility.”

“You’re preaching to the choir,” she said, sighing in relief. “I mean, do animals in the wild get married?”

“Not that I know of.” I poured us each a few fingers of champagne. “So, I’m hoping to prove to the fellows that there is no such thing as love, because fake love looks just like their own ‘real’ love they have in their marriages.”

“Fake love?” I saw the wheels turning behind her eyes. I knew that she was smart, like really smart, but I had no idea she could put things together so quickly. “Wait, you want me to pretend to be in love with you? Is that it?”

“Close. I want us both to pretend to be in love with each other.” I leaned forward in my seat, eager to discuss the details of my plan. “I’ve done a ton of research, so I know what beats to hit and when in the relationship. It’s going to look totally authentic to them—but only if I work with the right woman.”

“And you think I’m the right woman?”

“I think you’re perfect,” I blurted.

For a long moment neither of us spoke. My statement just kind of hung there, and it was kind of up in the air as to whether we were going to deal with it at face value or not. I turned coward first, however.

“I mean, you’re perfect for this gig. We’ve already had sex, so people will believe that we’re still banging.”

She snorted champagne out her nose, then started laughing as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Oh god, did you have to wait until I was drinking to say that?” She sputtered a bit, and shook her long dark hair. “I guess it helps maintain the illusion, though, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed. So are you on board?”

“I don’t know,” she said, pursing her lips tightly. “I’m not the kind of person who gets off on lying. In fact, my whole family kind of frowns on dishonesty, so—”

“You wouldn’t go unrewarded.” I steepled my hands together in front of me and stared over them at her. “I realize this is going to be a huge inconvenience, and disrupt the normal flow of your love life for the interim. I would never dream of impugning on your time without just and fair compensation.”

Our food arrived, but the entree wasn’t the only thing she was chewing over. I glanced at her from time to time. Her eyes remained distant. I knew that she waged an internal struggle, and I wanted to give her space. The last thing I wanted was for her to do something that made her uncomfortable. I already had her hooked. The only thing left was to carefully reel her in.

“I—I don’t know.”

“Do you need some time to think about it some more?”

Ivy pursed her lips, and then arched her brows.

“I think I need to know some more details. I mean, would you be expecting…”

Her voice trailed off. I waited, but she didn’t elaborate.

“Would I be expecting what?”

“You know.” She looked all around the restaurant, at the ice sculpture, at the glass chandelier, anywhere but at me.

“Ivy,” I spread my hands out wide. “I don’t know, because you won’t tell me. What are you trying to get at?”

“You’re not going to expect me to sleep with you as part of this deal, are you?”

“No, of course not,” I said quickly. “I’m not trying to treat you like a prostitute.”

“I’m being paid to spend time with you, and pretend to like you. How is that much different?”

“Um… you’re being paid for a performance. How about that? Like an actor.”

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