Page 74 of Meet Stan

We watched as she clambered onto a red horse, dimpled face split with a delighted smile. She waved happily at us as the music started.

“Mommy, Daddy, look at me!” she said as she went around.

“I see you, honey,” Stan called out.

He turned to me and cocked an eyebrow.

“What did you mean, don’t even think about it?”

I put my hands on my hips and affixed him with a stern gaze. He had the decency to blanch.

“What?” he asked.

“So, are you going to tell me,” I said very slowly, “that you were NOT just thinking about building our daughter a four-year-old-sized roller coaster in our backyard?”

He smiled sheepishly and spread his hands.

“No, I’m not going to tell you that I wasn’t thinking exactly that.” He gave me a quizzical look. “I have to ask, though, why are you against the idea? It’s not like we don’t have the money.”

I waved at Lindsey as she came around on the red horse again. Then I turned to my husband.

“Oh, where do I begin? First and foremost, you don’t need to spoil her more than she already is.” I ticked my points off on my manicured fingers. “She already has a pony, a virtual reality headset she never uses, a trampoline, and most especially a go-kart track in our back yard already.”

“You and I use the go-kart track more than her and you know it.”

“Besides the point,” I said, again waving to Lindsay as she came around on the ride. “And you’d better not give me grief about the go-kart track again, if you ever want to play King Bowser and Princess Peach ever again.”

“My lips are sealed,” he said quickly.

“Now, even if our daughter wasn’t ridiculously spoiled already—which she totally is, as we’ve established—there’s a reason why they don’t have four-year-old-sized roller coasters. Their bodies are still developing. If there were a need for four-year-old roller coasters, they would have made them already.”

“Okay, okay,” Stan said. “You’ve convinced me.”

“Besides, think about it, it’s an important milestone for her to grow into. Don’t try to rush things. Let her be a little kid.”

“When did you get so much wiser than me?”

I gave him a look.

“Baby, I’ve always been wiser than you.”

The carousel ride ended and we went to collect our daughter. Lindsey jumped up and down in her excitement.

“Did you see me? Did you see me go round and round?”

“We saw you,” I said.

“I took some pictures,” Stan said, showing her his cell phone. Lindsey’s eyes got big as dinner plates.

“Dad,” she said, “you didn’t get my good side.”

“Someone’s a diva,” he said with a laugh.

“She gets that from your side of the family, not mine. Let’s be clear on that.”

Stan laughed, and leaned in over Lindsey’s head to kiss me.

“Mom,” Lindsey said. “I’m hungry.”

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