Page 115 of Soul Sucker

A muscle flexed in his jaw. “You say that with such hope. Is that what you want, Ella? For me to let you down, so that you can continue to believe it’s safer not to care about people?”

“Youknowpeople let you down. We agreed on that!”

“But I didn’t know how I’d feel when I bonded with you,” he said. “That it wouldn’t just be about sex and keeping my pathetic job.”

“Just because you’ve changed, doesn’t mean that I have to. Sex was enough for me.” God, her voice was trembling. Could she be more pathetic?

“And that’s the problem, isn’t it?”

“It isn’t a problem. I got exactly what I wanted.”

“And now you’re prepared to throw it all away for the glory of the SBLE?” He hesitated. “Don’t you want to live?”

“Why?” She sounded angry now. Angry was good. “With you keeping all your secrets and your power and me an open book you can fuck and control?”

She saw her rage mirrored in his blue eyes and swallowed hard as the floor flexed and rolled as if they were in the midst of an earthquake. He turned away and headed for the door, pausing only to glare at her over his shoulder.

“Everything I have, all my power, all my secrets are yours for the taking, Ella. I can’t keep you out. But you didn’t want that, did you, didn’t want all of me because you’ve grown so afraid of living that you don’t even see a lifeline when it’s thrown at you—only another noose.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Life’s not fair, Ella, but hey, why should that bother you? You’ve already given up.”

He slammed out of her office and she stood staring at the door, a bitter taste in her mouth and her thoughts in chaos. She brushed at her face and realized she was crying and that a small black feather was stuck to her cheek. Vadim was wrong. She was just as scared of dying as living.

She put the old photograph in her backpack and blew her nose. She had to go and meet her team and convince them she was willing to act as bait to lure the Siren into their trap. There was no other choice, and if Vadim didn’t like it, he knew what he could do.

Go look for another mate.

* * *

Vadim studiedthe half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table in front of him and picked up his glass to refill it. Drinking vodka and being Russian might be considered a cliché, but he’d wanted to get drunk fast and his adopted country had provided an excellent way for him to do it. His hotel room was in disarray, his suit lay discarded on the floor and he was sitting on the couch in his boxers.

Ms. Walsh, of course, had ignored his advice to tell Spencer exactly where to put his plan and enthusiastically offered to act as bait for the Siren. Vadim downed his vodka in one and wondered why he was bothering with a glass. Spencer had been delighted and had assured her that no harm would come to her at all.

He borrowed a favorite phrase of Ella’s. “Yeah, right.”

Vadim hadn’t said anything to Spencer but had sat there and let them make plans around him. All his instincts roared that this was a mistake, but who cared about that? Ella didn’t, and she was supposed to be his mate. In all other scenarios, as her significant other, he would’ve at least been asked his opinion. Here it was a secret, and thanks to Spencer, the rest of the team thought he was untrustworthy and worried about being involved in another scandal.

He’d made sure Ella had protection from other members of the team and left work early to hole up in his hotel room. He hadn’t intended to start drinking, but his sense of injustice and frustration had demanded an outlet. He couldn’t have sex with Ella or blast something to oblivion, so alcohol seemed a good option.

Someone banged on the connecting door between the rooms.

“Vadim? It’s me, Alexei.”

Vadim concentrated on his vodka. He’d already locked and warded the door so he wasn’t worried about Alexei getting in.

“Are you in the shower?”

Vadim ignored the question. When had he become this pathetic version of himself who was afraid for another human being? Had he lived in the human world for too long? In Otherworld, the fate of one individual was considered negligible, but Ella was hismate. It seemed she’d roused all his protective human instincts—instincts he’d fought hard to conceal as a child. He rubbed a hand over his face. Did she really believe he was closed off? He’d been more open with her than with any other being in either world since his brother’s death. Alexei rattled the door handle one more time and then seemed to give up. Vadim returned to his thoughts and his vodka. Whatever Ella decided, he would do his best to keep her alive despite herself. He was even willing to die for her. If he could die.

He wasn’t even sure of that any longer.

* * *

Ella puther backpack down on the countertop and let out her breath. The apartment seemed quiet with just her in it. Liz was waiting for the pizza they’d ordered for dinner and would be staying the night. Ella had decided to walk the rest of the way home from the pizza place to get some much-needed air and thinking time. She imagined Vadim’s expression if he knew what she’d done. She sure was making some bad horror movie choices for a girl who was the target of a serial killer. Part of her wanted the Siren to find her now, so that she could end it.

It was funny how she always complained about Vadim being over-protective but now that he’d backed off she felt bereft. “It’s just lack of sex.” She said the words out loud partly to convince herself. “I don’t need him.”

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