Page 201 of The Stars are Dying

“You took her soul at the right moment it was expelled from her body,” Nyte said gently.

It was Cassia.

I gave a single laugh through my tears. “She’s been with me.”This whole time.

I thought some part of me knew it. Strength had come to be when I wouldn’t have otherwise found it. Courage had pushed me against fear. My heart had opened to try to findfriendshipagain.

“You have to let her go.”

That surged within me a denial that pulled the orb closer to my chest, but Nyte stopped me.

“I’m not ready!” I cried.

“I’ll give you a moment, but you can’t hold onto it. It’s been draining your own energy. Souls were never meant to be held onto. It’s time for her to join the stars.”

He eased away carefully as if I would defy him.

I didn’t. My heart cracked as I stared at the glow I cupped delicately in my grasp. I felt the resistance, knew it wanted to cast itself away, and realized it was only my own selfishness keeping her soul here.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I’m so, so sorry you didn’t get the life you deserved.”

The heat pulsed. Three times.

I laughed, trembling with the gift this moment was, but bleeding from the torn wound within me. “I did it. Can you believe I made it through the games? Of course you would. You would say you never had a damn doubt, because you were always the best kind of liar.” I chuckled, lowering to my knees despite the snow seeping through to my skin. “What I don’t think you would have believed is what I am.Idon’t believe it. But I’m going to try. For you I have to try.” My heart calmed with acceptance. “I’m going to make sure Calix stays alive,” I promised her.

My body trembled stiffly. If I cupped my hands she would stay.

She could stay with me.

I looked up and tranquility began to lap at me, the memory of two drunk friends who’d filled their final hours together with promises and wishes. If there was one thing I could give her, it was this.

“You’re going to see the world now, Cass.”

My tears fell as I let go. As though her soul was attached to a string pulling her toward an opposite gravity, I let her fly.

Then I watched. Her brilliant soul became like a firefly as it soared higher and higher. Nyte was behind me, silent and patient. I didn’t tear my eyes from the sky, barely even blinking as she became no more than a spec of glitter among the stars—but I didn’t lose her.

Seconds, minutes, hours. I didn’t know how much time passed before a gentle flare erupted.

Then there she was.

I stood still. Then waited. My lip wobbled when I saw it.

Three blinks.

Finally, my eyes fell down. My neck ached, and I rubbed it as I turned to Nyte with a new kind of despair.

“If you don’t leave, the stars will continue to die,” I said, unable to meet his gaze.

“Yes.”

“How long will Cassia have?”

“I can’t be certain.”

There was no other way, and this kind of loss—something so damned by fate alone—was soul-destroying.

“I’m coming with you,” I said. Finally I looked at him, and the glittering misery in his eyes cut me. “I’ll help you get past the veil, then I want to come with you right until it’s time.” I wasn’t done accepting that this was the only way, but if I didn’t grant him my acceptance, I feared he’d try to push me away.