Page 23 of The Stars are Dying

When he left, I sank back down as the sun kept rising. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t do anything but reel at the thought of what was to come.

7

Ididn’t venture out of my rooms the following night. Instead I hugged the blanket around my shoulders tighter as I stared up at the midnight sky, leaning against the balcony doors that allowed a chill to seep in for my last night here. I wouldn’t risk being caught. No—I had to be as obedient as he believed I had always been if I had any chance of eluding him tomorrow.

My mind taunted and laughed that no matter what I tried, even if I made it a day, a week, away from him, he would always find me so long as he lived.

And so came a dark thought, one that had stroked my mind before in the heat of Hektor’s worst moments: I had to kill him.

Every time I truly thought of the idea, I expelled it with horror. No matter what, I couldn’t forget everything Hektor had done for me. He’d found me, sheltered me, given me fine things most could only dream of. Just never alife.

This wasn’t living.

To distract myself, I looked again at the small binding that had arrived by post yesterday. Flipping it open to the name that clenched a tight fist in my chest, I saw Cassia’s profile as the Selected of Alisus. There was no drawing, only a list of her strengths and weaknesses. I flipped through the others, but each time, my blood turned hot and my pulse raced as I imagined her having to face them, knowing they’d have to die for Cassia to win.

Two women, three men, and only one victor.

I closed the booklet, refraining from scrunching it up in my palms in my rage. This wasn’t right. Humans needing to prove themselves worthytolive. That was all the Libertatem was.

My door creaked open without a knock, and I whirled in fright.

“Just me,” Zath said with a smirk of amusement.

“You shouldn’t be in here,” I said, glancing behind him as if Hektor would enter any minute.

Zath waved off my concern, stalking over to the seat near the blazing fire. “He’s busy with a bunch of crooks just back from his latest kill order.”

The flickers of amber highlighted what he carried, and my eyes lit up to follow him. As he placed the two books on the table, I sat, eagerly examining their titles and promptly flicking through one.

“I don’t know if they’re any good,” he said.

“They’re perfect,” I answered, not even caring what was written in them as I was sure to gainsomething,however small, from the scriptures.

Books were rare in Alisus, even in the Keep. We all had our suspicions it was to keep us from learning anything that could teach us how to overthrow the High Ruler of Solanis. Knowledge could turn into the most dangerous weapon.

I flicked my eyes up from the words to utter my gratitude to Zathrian. He smiled, broad and as excited as I was, even though he had no interest in books.

I’d once read a story about two lovers and their struggle with a family conflict that wouldn’t allow for them to be together, but neither of the lovers struck me as the true hero of the tale. The real hero was her brother. He reminded me of Zath.

When I first met Zath, it wasn’t an instant connection. No one ever showed me any interest, and initially he was no different in his primary role of pleasing Hektor. Then he saw me. He wanted toknowme, and slowly I gathered the same feeling I remembered from immersing myself in that story for a while. Zathrian was a living semblance of the bond I’d felt through those pages.

“I’m leaving tonight,” he said, dulling my good mood at receiving the books. “Hektor wants me to oversee a trade in the North Port.”

Zathrian was an excellent spy. It wasn’t often I heard Hektor speak of any of his men, but Zath had quickly become an invaluable asset to him.

Then I realized, as the first real protest to my joining Cassia…I would also be leaving Zath behind.

“What’s wrong?” he asked at seeing my ghostly stare.

My mouth opened but snapped shut. I could trust him, I knew that. Yet…this was my only chance. And if there was even a slight doubt he would tell Hektor, I couldn’t risk it. Heat rushed behind my eyes, so I flipped through more pages as a distraction. “Nothing. I’m just going to miss you.”

Zath reached over to tousle my hair, and the chuckle it pulled from me as I fended him off brightened the room. “I hope to be back for the last of the send-off celebrations. Save me one of the little round sponge things with the chocolate filling.”

My lips pinched. I couldn’t bear to look at him with my lies. “I’ll save you two if you’re prompt.”

Zath leaned in, his hand cupping my neck as he planted a soft kiss to my forehead, and I sighed knowing the contentment of safety—realsafety—was about to slip away from me. “All the more reason to hurry the crooks along,” he mumbled.

He reached the door, and my racing pulse surged me to my feet.

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