Page 39 of The Stars are Dying

“Then Astraea’s should have one,” Cassia chirped.

I flashed her a look of surprise and blushed. “I’m hardly that,” I muttered.

“Not in that clothing,” Cassia observed.

I fixed my cloak to cover my ruined white gown again. “There was hardly the time to consider better options.”

“We’ll get you something more fitting in the first town.”

I nodded gratefully, and though her voice always soothed me with the only safety and comfort I knew…I wanted silence. For time to still for a moment so I could face what I had done. All that I had run from.

Looking out the small window, I eased over to it, leaning my head against the velvet side and watching the glow of twilight spill across the passing trees. I stared through them, but flashes of the soulless I’d encountered skipped my pulse, so instead I watched the rolling clouds as exhaustion crept up to me. But I wanted to witness the stars awakening.

“I’m glad you’re here, Astraea,” Cassia said softly.

My brow pinched. “I’m glad you came.”

I didn’t know how much time had passed when I gave over to a moment of rest. The carriage jostled steadily, but it was dark—I could tell from the fluttering of my heavy lids.

“She could have gotten you killed,” Calix said quietly.

“You’re afraid of the Libertatem. Don’t take that out on her, please. I need you both.”

“Cass…” He breathed her name with a soft yearning I’d never heard before.

I peeked again and found them sitting intimately close. Cassia’s palm met his cheek, and at the same time they leaned for each other. I clamped my eyes shut when they kissed. My body grew hot, my presence an intrusion on their intimacy, and I tried to tune them out.

My chest clenched for them. I wished for them to be happy, yet despite them having the freedom to give in to each other out here, we all knew the clock was ticking. Moments together were to be treasured, and I was glad they were making them count at least.

I wanted to look outside, to glance up at the night and find my own peace, but I kept still and silent, feigning sleep. Instead I found my mind slowly flooding with midnight swirls and starlit pools. I nestled contentedly into the corner of the carriage as a slow, familiar song joined the tango of constellations, and soon I was dancing with them.

11

The town we had stopped in came alive by midday. I tried to follow a craving triggered by a sweet cinnamon scent, only to be distracted by earthy florals that attracted me to a different stall. In my exhilaration I could hardly decide where I wanted to go in the market labyrinth.

“I knew you couldn’t come to the Keep often, but I didn’t realize just how locked up Hektor kept you,” Cassia commented. Our arms were looped together, but often my excitement strained our connection, and we giggled as we walked through the stalls.

“He wanted to keep me safe. I was well provided for.”

Cassia arched a brow. “You don’t need to defend that piece of shit anymore.”

My mouth opened, only to close with the realization that was what I’d been doing, and that I’d come close to repeating myself in different words. Was I really defending Hektor? I couldn’t be sure when all I wanted was to wipe the pity from Cassia’s eyes. It doused me with the shame I’d spent so long in denial when I could’ve been breaking free from him.

“His asshole personality suited his looks,” she said, pulling me along the road. “You can do better, and you deserve so much more.”

I had to wonder what Cassia saw in me to say such things. More so, I wanted to agree but couldn’t find what it was within myself that smothered my confidence with cowardice.

My sights finally found the cinnamon scent as it grew stronger. It was rare to come by the spice traded from the northern kingdom of Astinus. I delighted at the pastry stall until I remembered I had no coin. I could just look, but as I took my first step forward Cassia’s grip steered me the opposite way.

“After,” she said, her voice kicking up with excitement. I followed her line of sight to what had caught her attention: a small shop selling fabrics. “We need to get you something proper to wear.”

“I have no money,” I admitted.

She didn’t answer me, only pausing to throw Calix an instruction over her shoulder to wait for us outside. He grumbled his reluctance, and I cringed at their quick back-and-forth, feeling in the middle until the overprotective guard agreed.

The bell chimed above our heads, and the interior of the shop expanded further than I expected. So many colors exploded before me, different fabrics and styles, and I was so swept away by the wonder of it all I didn’t feel Cassia slipping away from me. My fingers brushed over lace and silk, some formed into various garments and others long strips just waiting for a creative mind to craft them into something beautiful.

Toward the back of the shop I was drawn not to anything of vibrancy; the stark blacks and leather materials inspired a thrill. Some were matte, some textured with scales, some with hints of color, and my fingers skimmed over a leather corset with deep purple embroidery I thought to be alluringly dangerous.

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