Page 96 of The Stars are Dying

“I’d known her for a year since I came to the castle. She was the first to welcome me here, and we’ve worked together side by side since.”

The three of us settled by the fire and listened to Davina tell her stories of a lost friend. We laughed and shared tears, and the hours we passed were filled with memories that promised to carry her short life on.

“I tried to ask her out once,” Davina chuckled nervously. “She didn’t understand it was romantic, but we had a good time all the same.”

“You never told her your feelings?” Rose asked. She wore such a gentle softness that was so relaxing to see.

Davina shook her head. “Stars, no. I took that as a sign she wasn’t interested in women that way. I didn’t want to shake our friendship.”

I sat on the floor by her chair, reaching a hand to her lap. No words were needed in our shared smile of comfort. “We’re going to find out who did this,” I said.

Rose nodded, her determination as firm and true as mine.

I decided to fill the silence with a sway of topic. “How did you know I wasn’t Cassia?” I asked Rose. Seeing her caution around Davina, I added, “She knows too.”

Rose’s skin smoothed out as she rubbed her forehead as if gathering strength. “It’s a miracle you’re still alive, Astraea.”

I blinked, wondering how Rose was always one step ahead. “How do you know my name?”

She smirked. “Cassia was a fascinating person. She had many things she loved. I figured if there was anyone traveling with her here, you would be one of them given how much she talked about you.”

The familiar pulse in my chest warmed brightly. I couldn’t express my gratitude, not knowing where to direct it when all I knew was that this was a gift. Rose could be tense and prickly, and I wasn’t so naïve as to think she would warm to me because of this. But here stood someone who somehow knew Cassia deeply, even if only through script, and that was one more flame to keep her memory alive.

I watched her travel through memories as she stared into the fire. Then Rose fiddled with the folds of her jacket, seeming to contemplate something before she took a deep breath and dipped a hand inside. She produced a parchment, unfolding it with careful attention, and there was a dent in her brow when she scanned it over. After a hesitant pause she extended it to me.

I was taken aback, but seeing her obvious twitch as she stopped herself from retracting her arm, I took it. I read over the words, my breath coming quicker. I was wrong to think I’d exhausted my emotions; they barreled into me all over again as my fingers brushed the familiar swirls and the tilt of the writing.

When I turned to Rose with wide eyes, for the first time she showed me her smile. It was true and filled with sadness and grief, and I was overcome to have someone to share these emotions with.

“Cassia and I were exchanging letters before our kingdoms even hosted the Selected trials,” she said solemnly.

I couldn’t believe it. I wondered why Cassia had never told me, and it hit me with a pang of disappointment that perhaps I hadn’t been as close to her as she was to me for this to have been kept a secret.

“She never spoke of you,” I said.

Rose huffed a laugh. “Our relationship was a secret to most. We knew one of the king’s guard who frequented the same border at the wall, and over three years he got our letters past that hurdle without us needing to go through any of the main lines intended only for formal reigning lord correspondence.”

“When did you know I wasn’t her?”

“The moment you walked in,” she said, though I expected that as I recalled her cold glare. “I may never have met Cassia, but I knew what she looked like. I commend you for trying to fool me with the Starlight Matter you must consume, but something was off about you from the moment you walked in. I was doubtful at first, figuring you’d masterfully kept in any hint of recognition toward me with the audience we had. But the black hair doesn’t suit you right. I can’t place it. Then when you continued to act as if we were perfect strangers I knew you couldn’t be Cassia. I didn’t want to out you right away. I wanted to figure you out.”

“Did you?” I shifted my weight, realizing I’d been under Rose’s magnifying glass this whole time.

“Not even close. But you seemed harmless to a worrying degree. I couldn’t comprehend why you’d be here and not her. I figured the worst had happened and Alisus wanted to fool the king to keep a player in the game. No offense, but you don’t seem the type they would choose.”

“None taken,” I muttered. I couldn’t be offended by the truth.

“But for what it’s worth, I think it’s incredibly brave for you to be here after what you went through. Cassia would be proud.”

Rose said it with sincerity. I smiled sadly, but it was like she didn’t know how to offer her condolences. Nor did I want them.

“She would want you to keep on living, you know,” Rose said, her words unexpectedly soft. “She would have wanted that for me too. I didn’t get the privilege of knowing her in person like you did, but I’ll miss her. More than I can say. She was the last person I had.”

My nose stung, and I wondered how she composed herself so well when it pulled me apart at the seams to think of her. “I am living,” I said, though sometimes I wished I were not.

“You are surviving,” Rose said, pushing to her feet. “Something tells me you have yet toliveat all.”

I swallowed over the marble that had settled in my throat. Despite everything and what we still had to do, I held her hazel eyes, which were far more of a warrior’s than mine, and I understood. I was grateful, so gods-damned grateful, to discover she had known Cassia.

---