Page 186 of The Stars are Dying

“No, it isn’t. You’re almost through the worst of your withdrawal. Your emotions are exhausting you, and they are not true.”

“They are true,” I said. “They don’t come from nowhere, Nyte.”

He didn’t answer. I listened to him sit again. He hadn’t brought a chair. He hadn’t brought anything of comfort for himself.

He never left.

53

The next few days, maybe even a week, passed in a blur of color and gentle touches. My eyes fluttered at the hands pressing a damp cloth to my forehead. Black locks around a beautiful pale face came into clarity. Davina’s large eyes creased with her smile when they met mine.

“You’re coming around well. I think another day or two and you’ll be up and about.”

Relief at seeing her flooded through me. “Are you all right?” I croaked, trying to sit up, but her soft hand on my shoulder refused me.

“Yes. I have a way of remaining out of the king’s sight if he tries to go looking for me before everything.” Her expression was cunning, but I didn’t question it when I had so many other buzzing thoughts to voice. “Oh, Astraea, I’m so sorry I kept things from you. I hope you’ll let me explain—”

“It’s fine. You can tell me later,” I said, trying to muster a convincing smile while inside the twist of betrayal wouldn’t relent. I diverted. “Zath—is he okay?”

Davina’s face fell, and my nerves rose. “He’s healing. We’ve set out to find a human mage who will help him along faster, though, and for you. Zathrian has been helping to calm Rosalind, which isn’t doing him any favors. They had to detain her. She was ratherspiritedin her demands to see you. She’s owed a lot of explanation too, but it’s difficult to get her to listen.” Davina gave a chuckle that was partly amusement, partly to cover her nerves at speaking about Rose.

“I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“You will.” She gave my arm a gentle squeeze.

I didn’t think I had ever trulyseenher. Not this version that had been lying beneath the surface. While Davina was gentle and kind, witnessing even a glimpse of her in combat was like ripping off a mask.

“You’re not a handmaiden.” I stated the obvious.

She curled a guilty smile. “It’s not my first occupation, no. But I like to help people.”

“Did you know…about Nyte this whole time?”

It only took a heartbeat for me to read the confirmation in the flinch of her brow.

“He isn’t always the monster he’s painted to be,” she said.

Not always.I cast my eyes to the ceiling. How could I trust that? Sadness swept through me with the realization I didn’t know if I could trust Davina either. Another spy forNightsdeath.

“Zath was never under his control,” I whispered to myself, the truth finally settling despite my denial.

I couldn’t trust anyone.

“No,” she replied softly.

As if I were made of glass. That was exactly how I felt as each new revelation cracked my fragile world.

I felt him before I saw him. Shadow always caressed the room when he was near, and something distant within me tugged. Davina looked over her shoulder. At seeing Nyte there, she gave me one last smile—as though she longed to say more but she answered tohim. Without even a command, the world answered to him.

Davina left, and I looked at the open cell door. My mind filtered through the many ways I might elude him to reach it and run free, but my body had become too heavy to stand. All I wanted to do was sleep. No longer did the craving for those pills I now despised torment my most wicked thoughts.

Nyte came by the side of the cot and crouched down. I couldn’t fully decipher him, but there was always a note of pain.

He dipped into his pocket before producing a small pill my mouth salivated to, but my sight targeted him in bewilderment.

“It’s not the Starlight Matter, of course,” he said, voice so gentle. “Your blood levels are low. I think it’s from the years of taking the powerfully suppressive dose and how often he took your blood. Too much of it, too often. I can’t be certain if this deficiency is permanent, and I never would have drank from you if I’d realized sooner.”

My neck tingled with the mention. In pleasure. Sparks that skittered over my collar and rushed heat between my legs. Nyte’s eyes flared a fraction as if he sensed it but his regret remained. I had to bite back my insistence to him I would have asked for it even if I’d known. Stars, my sickness-clouded mind protested it wouldn’t be the only time I felt those sharp teeth inside me.

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