Page 189 of The Stars are Dying

“The key?”

I took the drop of his eyes as confirmation.

“I think you knew it could be used against you. So you spelled it. When it took your life, the whole world felt it. The key broke. Five pieces. Then they vanished. You made it so the only person who could find them was you. Those who tried to take on your trials were tested, or they would die for ever thinking themselves true-hearted enough to make it through. My father never spoke of how many times he’d failed the trials, how many years you’d drained from him, before he finally made it to the end. I think the world heard his rage when he realized you’d mocked him with it after all that. Until the game awoke again and he turned it somewhat to his advantage with the Libertatem.”

I stilled with disbelief. The smile that cracked on my lips was a break from the weeks of misery, imagining the king’s torment though I couldn’t fathom myself cunning enough to be responsible. “I don’t feel like her,” I admitted.

Nyte searched me slowly. “I don’t think you’ve had the chance to yet.”

“What if I’m someone else…?” Would that change what he thought of me?This person he believed I was.

“You are whoever you want to be. You should know there are no expectations of you to remember—to be anyone other than who you are right now.”

“People are counting on her return. They think she will save them.”

I thought of one hopeful fae with deep green hair and small horns. Lilith had been so dedicated in speaking of thestar-maidenthat I sank with dread to know I couldn’t be that savior.

“You don’t have to be anything for anyone.” He took a contemplative pause. “It has never influenced anything for me. I sought you out only to make sure you were safe when I knew there would be others searching for you, and not all of them good. But these past months getting to knowyou, as who you are now, have been the privilege of my existence.”

As he pressed his lips to my forehead my eyes wanted to slip closed with the wave of contentment, but something in his tone didn’t settle right.

Then he slipped away from me.

“Where are you going?”

“You need to rest.”

“Wait—” I stood after him, but the cry of the door closing rattled my senses, bringing back his betrayal.

“I will always be your enemy, Astraea. You will see that. As soon as you are fully well, there is so much more for you to learn, and you will see.”

“I do see,” I said firmly. He was not getting to walk away so easily. “I see you, Nyte. I want to see you as Rainyte. And I’m not afraid to see you as Nightsdeath.”

“I only guided you here to free me. Now I will be doing everything I can to find my way home, and I won’t look back.”

I gritted my teeth. I didn’t care that his words cleaved through me, nor for the coldness in my anger at his rejection. “You’re a coward!” I spat as he started to leave.

That caused him to spin back around, storming to me so fast I didn’t get a second to react before he reached between the bars and his hand encircled my nape.

“Do you want to know what I am?” he growled. His chest heaved, but his storm I didn’t feel was directed at me or anything. It was raging at himself. “That day, Hektor didn’t lock the door. The balcony door, yes, and you unlocking it was real. The other door was always open, and I made you believe it wasn’t. That he had locked you in there for no goddamn reason because he had done it before.”

“That’s not true,” I said, but the denial mocked me. So instead I asked, “Why?”

“Because you never would have left. He would have finally broken you in that cage you believed could one day turn into a palace. I forced you out and I tricked you. And I asked Zathrian to go along with it too. Everything.” He searched my eyes, and I traveled through his, wishing our circumstances were different, wanting him so badly, yet feeling the desire like a knife that wouldn’t stop twisting with every new fact I learned.

“I thought I could stay away. I did—for five years, though I could have infiltrated your mind sooner. Then the chance for you to come here crept closer, and I had to meet you. I had to see for myself what I had only glimpsed through Zathrian and Cassia before, because I knew the moment I stepped into your mind I would be selfish. I thought I could do it, open your mind to me, and that it would feel convincingly real for both of us. I thought I’d have the strength to look at you and not fall. But I looked at you…and I plummeted. I didn’t stand a chance.”

My heart shattered. I wanted him to lean down and kiss me like he fought against, but the opposing side won, and his hand slipped slowly from my hair.

“Cassia…” I breathed, leaning my forehead to the bars as the pieces slid together. “Did she know?”

“No.”

My breath of relief didn’t even settle before he continued.

“But I knew Cassia’s course was to come here, and you never would have met if I hadn’t guided her onto your path. Your relationship was real—every part of it. She knew nothing about me.”

My eyes filled as I whispered, “You sent me Cassia.”

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